How do you know if your guy is the one?

There are signs for and against – that is, if you believe in “the one” – that you can pay attention to while dating your man.

I always wanted to tell my colorful dating stories, but since the engagement, I didn’t feel it was right to bring them up. But now that the wedding is only a few days away, I decided it would be advantageous to list qualities of “the one” versus qualities of “NOT”. The qualities of not, I learned while furiously dating. These are all true based on my past dates (scary as that is). But, these learning moments helped me know who “the one” was, hope it helps you too.

You meet him at the bar. He gets upset when you talk to another guy after you just met him. Hmmmm…probably not the one and by the way….check for an ankle monitor.

He lives with his parents because (of course), he is helping THEM out. He is almost thirty years old and still in college. I would suggest waiting about ten years for this one.

He is not homosexual (not that there is anything wrong with that), but what turns him on is pictures of guys. However, he is into girls. Um. Run. Run far, far away before he brings out a strap-on from his fantasy stash. Eeek!

He shows you an engagement ring a week after you meet him, then laughs and says he bought it for his wife before they split (but he loved the look on your face!). Same guy drives you three hours to meet his sister in Austin, because it’s the only family he has and he really wants you to meet her since you are “the one”. He warns she can be a little rough…..what ends up being rough was when her ex-boyfriend shows up (because she calls him to come get his paycheck) and when your guy answers the door, he starts beating him up. The cops are called and he tells the cops the guy hit him first, because you know, the cops will believe someone without a record over one with. It was a loooooong ride back with a guy sporting a busted lip (and still no record). Get away from this brute, and bully – pronto!

He gives you a ride to the airport when you work out-of-town for a week because – he is your boyfriend and that is what boyfriends do – but when your plane is delayed six times and you finally land at 12 am (after a long day, and long work week), he is nowhere to be found. Does not answer his phone. You have no way to get anywhere even if you do get a ride home from the airport, because your car is parked at his house. Not to mention getting to the Easter carnival at Church you are volunteering for in the morning. Nope, no way to get there either. Finally at two am, you give up and call your girlfriend who lives by the airport to come get you. Of course, that is when the idiot finally shows up – IN YOUR CAR – and doesn’t say a word. No apologies, nothing. He was, uh, sleeping (?). Hey girls, boyfriend is a cheater and he moved on in the WEEK you were out-of-town. Be SO glad for that.

He is in school to be an anesthesiologist and he takes massive amounts of Adderall……to study. Um. Wow.

He tells you he tapped the phone of his ex-wife and loaded spy ware on her computer to track her keystrokes, so he could find out if she was cheating on him, and she was. You know if have to go to those lengths, then I think your relationship is done long before the cheating started. You don’t get far enough to find out what he did to her car or if a spy cam was involved, but it probably was.

Sitting next to him in the movies, you have to turn your head from the stench of his dragon breath.

He tells you to park anywhere at his apartment complex when you meet him for your first date. Upon return from your last date, your car is missing. He asks if you parked under the covered strip. You answer yes. He replies that you probably got towed since those are reserved spots. Guess what? You car WAS towed and it takes all your grocery money as a single mom to get it out. It sure wasn’t worth the dinner and movie!

You meet him and he opens the car door for you. He has held the same job for eleven years. He has his own car. He has his own house. He talks lovingly of his mother. He speaks lovingly of the mother of his children. He will not date, nor consider a date the weekend he has his children, since that is their time together. He never gets “mad” about anything. He shows up when he says he will, and where he says he will. He is polite to waiters, waitresses, store clerks, and holds the door open for other people to enter. He has no record, not even with the DMV. He takes a teenage girl shopping for school clothes. TEEN + SHOPPING = BEATING. But he doesn’t complain. He cleans. He cooks. He will even give up a football game for you (if you asked) (like on your wedding day). He brings you beautiful cards – EVERY holiday.

Including your favorite chocolates….

You both love the mountains, and the beach, and everywhere else you can explore and roam together.

He buys you a platinum engagement ring.

He loves his children and yours.

He holds you through the death of two fathers within eighteen months.

He is kind, sweet, encouraging, loyal, and faithful.

Do you know what you do with a guy like that? You marry them on Sunday.


I love you and can’t wait to marry YOU.

45 thoughts on “How do you know if your guy is the one?

  1. Aww, Ange! Beautifully written (and hilarious, I might add!). I’ll be thinking of you both with lots of love on Sunday! Go get ‘im, girl! He’s YOURS!! :)


  2. Ange,
    So thrilled for you. Your post brought happy tears and a few laughs! You two deserve the very best. Hope to be there on your special day!


  3. Angelia & Jason…thinking about you this weekend! I am so happy for the both of you – you definitely have the real deal. May God bless you both on the day of your marriage and for the rest of your lives!


  4. Very Nice, I look forward to many more tales of the wonderful life you are beginning with “The One” Jason sounds like a good man and I am proud you two are going to share a wonderful life together.


  5. Aww… you just put a tear in my eye! This was great! I think I had a date with that dragon breath guy… (hence “had a”). LOL

    Congrats again… so excited for you!!!


  6. LOVED, loved loved this post! Congratulations on the wedding!!

    The last guy I met before I met my now husband was set up by a neighbor of mine. I too, was a single mom. I was told he owned his own business, had his own home, etc. I was also told he was in his 30’s – which at my then age of 27 not too bad.

    I show up and he’s more like 48! But, not being one to judge I continue the date. We double dated with our neighbors (whew!) and went out to eat before seeing a movie. I was an extremely picky eater back then, and when an appetizer came to the table, I asked him to taste it and tell me what it was. “Crab” he replied. I like crab! I took one bite – it was fucking horseradish! He couldn’t tell the difference between crab and horseradish?

    After the movie, I just want to go home. We are at our neighbors, all of six houses down from my parents house where I was staying, but insisted on driving me home. I opened the passenger side door, and there is no seat – only springs! When I asked where I was going to sit, he put a towel over the springs and said “just sit on the front part.”

    Why I got in that van I will never know, but we drove about 100 feet, he stopped and turned off the van, as if we were going to make out! All the while I kept looking at the 100+ cigarette butts sitting in his ashtray.

    Guess what – he wants a second date! To go smelt fishing – and wants to know if that Friday night he can pick me up at 3:30 a.m. to go fishing.

    But wait. . . gets better! He calls me for days wanting to get together, I give excuse after excuse. He prides himself that one of the best things about living alone is that he can leave the dishes in the sink for weeks and no one barks at him to clean them up. Klassy!

    So the last time I talked to him, I said I couldn’t because I was just about to give my then 3 year old daughter a bath, to which he replied “do you want me to come over and help you?”



  7. Oh, oh, oh!!!! I LOVE the way you look together!!!!! This is GREAT!! I am soooo happy that you are marrying someone who LOOKS SO GOOD WITH YOU!
    xoxo, and more xoxo,


  8. He is The One a long long time ago, Sweetie! Aww, you never run out of ideas if only for him. Few days, only few days- and we expect here another colorful world for you and Jason and the kids. My warmest hugs. Congrats!


  9. It’s sad that we have to go through all the bad ones to reconginse the good ones. You were blessed when you said yes to those tickets.

    Congrats and all the happiness to both of you!


  10. Lovely post Angelia, I think one advantage of kissing so many frogs, including the one with halitosis, is that you really do know when the prince finally emerges :-)

    I cannot believe the wedding is this weekend!!! Have the most WONDERFUL day – I know there is sadness because of what has happened to your MIL but she more than anyone I am sure will want you both to enjoy your day.

    I shall be thinking of you and cannot wait to see the photos.


  11. When I starteed reading this, I was like ‘omg’, these stories can’t be true! Phewww, you really had a hard time, huh? But by the end of the post, I was like ‘awwww’. Yes, when you meet a guy like this, you marry him :) Wish you both bucketful of happiness and love. Yay for Sunday! I’m sure you are going to be a beauuuutiifuuuulll bride :))


  12. Ha! All this time I thought 10/10 was a Saturday!

    My husband kinda hit two on your “not” list. He lived with his parents. He admitted it was them helping him out. But it worked out great — I think, because they were only there for a portion of the time. And honestly since he wasn’t paying rent it made it so much easier not to “save money on rent” by moving in together. Which we probably would have done becuase we knew (you just know) we were going to get married.

    He also said I was the one way too early, but that is really hard to argue as being a bad point since, as he ALWAYS points out, I was. Ya know?

    He actually hit a lot of my own “nots”, but by the time I said yes, there was never a doubt.

    Your qualities of “the one” made me teary eyed. So happy for you.


  13. Wow, no contest whatsoever! Your man sounds like a lovely guy!

    Are you serious – all those situations actually happened to
    you??? Crikey matey as they say in Or-stralia!

    I hope tomorrow is a beautiful day for you both!
    Thanks so much for stopping by the blog in the week before your wedding!
    Sophie (stopping by from SITs Snow Leopards!)


  14. OoOoh! That means you guys got married TODAY! *woot woot* Congratulations! Yeahhhhhhhhhhhhh!

    Yep, I got me one of them fellers, too. Ain’t they wonderful!

    God bless you both! Prayers and good wishes for a long and beautiful marriage!


  15. Oh, my. I thought about you all weekend, honestly I did. Everytime I saw something on the news about all the weddings world-wide on 10-10-10 You came to mind. I hope it was everything you wanted it to be and more. I hope that the happiness of the day will carry you and Jason into the future for decades to come. My heart is overflowing with happiness for you. And I’m so looking foreward to seeing some photos.
    Love and blessings dear friend,


  16. hello, i love reading ur piece… and this one tops everything because u made me feel happy while reading about how ur husband treats you… im engaged and very excited to get married too…

    congratulations and best wishes!


  17. Twice divorced and bachelor since 1984. Coupla shack ups since then but nothing serious. Guess marriage was not in the cards for me. Now at 63, kids and grand kids are just fine for me. You are blessed.


  18. God is good. He knows the deepest longings of our heart and makes arrangements with fate to lead us to that person who will complete us. That person who will love us during our worst and celebrate life till the end. You both are blessed to have found each other. Your family is an inspiration.


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