Dear Blank (a funny),

Got this by email from one of my friends. It’s rare for me to get something I haven’t seen, something as fresh and as funny as this piece is. I have no one to credit, but truly whoever wrote it… Please know how much I appreciate the laugh on this dreary day. Readers enjoy a chuckle until I get my next post done – which is in drafts – full of gorgeous landscape photography. Please note……If you are easily offended skip this post.


(source)

Dear Noah,
We could have sworn you said the ark wasn’t leaving till 5.
Sincerely,
Unicorns

Dear Twilight Fans,
Please realize that because vampires are dead and have no blood pumping
through them, they can never get an erection.
Enjoy fantasizing about that.
Sincerely,
Jacob

Dear Icebergs,
Sorry to hear about the global warming. Karma’s a bitch.
Sincerely,
The Titanic

Dear America ,
You produced Miley Cyrus. Bieber is your punishment.
Sincerely,
Canada

Dear Yahoo,
I’ve never heard anyone say, “I don’t know, let’s Yahoo! it…” just
saying…
Sincerely,
Google

Dear 2010,
So I hear the best rapper is white and the president is black? WTH
happened?!
Sincerely,
1985

Dear Windshield Wipers,
Can’t touch this.
Sincerely,
That Little Triangle

Dear Rose,
There was definitely room on that raft for the both of us.
Sincerely,
Jack

Dear girls who have been dumped,
There are plenty of fish in the sea… Just kidding! They’re all dead.
Sincerely,
BP

Dear jf;ldsfa/kvsmmklnn,
Please lknvfdmv.xvn.
Sincerely,
Stevie Wonder

Dear Nickleback,
That’s enough.
Sincerely,
The World

Dear Skin-Colored Band Aids,
Please make one for every skin color.
Sincerely,
Black people

Dear Osama Bin Laden,
Marco….
Sincerely,
United States

Dear World of Warcraft,
Thank you for ensuring my son’s virginity.
Sincerely,
Parents Everywhere

Dear Anne Frank,
Two can play this game….
Sincerely,
Waldo

Dear Batman,
What was your power again?
Sincerely,
Superman

Dear Customers,
Yes, we ARE making fun of you in Vietnamese.
Sincerely,
Nail Salon Ladies

Dear Americans,
I’m sorry, did you just insult us? I couldn’t hear you over my health care
benefits.
Sincerely,
Canadians

Dear Global Warming,
You’re the best imaginary friend ever!
Sincerely,
Al Gore

Dear Ugly People,
You’re welcome.
Sincerely,
Alcohol

Dear Mr. Gump
What are you talking about? There’s a little diagram on the lid that tells
you EXACTLY what you’re gonna get….
Sincerely, Jenny

Dear Martin Luther King Jr.
I have a dream within a dream within a dream within another dream…. What
now?
Sincerely,
Leonardo Di Caprio

Dear World,
Please stop freaking out about 2012. Our calendars ends there because some
Spanish d-bags invaded our country and we got a little busy ok?
Sincerely,
The Mayans

Dear Snooki,
GET BACK TO WORK!
Sincerely,
Willy Wonka

Dear White People,
Don’t you just hate immigrants?
Sincerely,
Native Americans

Dear Twihards,
If he sparkles, he’s probably one of ours .
Sincerely,
Gay Men Of America

Dear iPhone,
Please stop spellchecking all of my rude words into nice words. You piece of
shut.
Sincerely,
Every iPhone User

Dear Giant Spider on the Wall,
Please die. Please die. Please die. Please die. CRAP! Where did you go?
Sincerely,
Terrified

Dear Trash,
At least you get picked up…
Sincerely,
The Girls of Jersey Shore

Dear Dr. Phil,
Look man, there’s only room for one fake doctor in this world and I was here
first.
Sincerely,
Dr. Pepper

25 thoughts on “Dear Blank (a funny),

    1. Maddy-I know! That one was GREAT. I pick couldn’t either, but I am leaning toward the iPhone user one. The word predict is sooo retarded. That one really cracks me up (plus I posted this from my iPhone!).

      Like

  1. The next was better than the previous and go on and on…i really think this is smart humor! Thanks! Loved it!

    I loved this one the most!

    Dear White People,
    Don’t you just hate immigrants?
    Sincerely,
    Native Americans

    Like

  2. LOVE this one!!!

    Dear World,
    Please stop freaking out about 2012. Our calendars ends there because some
    Spanish d-bags invaded our country and we got a little busy ok?
    Sincerely,
    The Mayans

    LMAO!!! Lots of funnies!

    Like

  3. Those were freaking hilarious. I’m not sure which was the best but they were all good. And PS…it”s NOT just Iphone. That predictive text on my droid drives me insane….

    Like

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