If that’s not love, then I don’t know what is. Honestly? I am not a cook. I have never been, nor will I ever be. It’s not something I have ever enjoyed. It’s not even something I’m very good at. But, HE makes me want to cook.
And just like that, I CAN. It’s actually edible. I actually navigate the timing without burning it to a crisp. I don’t over spice, salt, or pepper. I haven’t ruined a pan or a stove burner. Nobody even got hurt. Seriously!
Not that great cooking hasn’t been in my life. My mom is an amazing cook. She can cook anything. My step-dad even cooked. He made delicious homemade egg rolls. My second husband was Italian and would make melt-in-your mouth pasta dishes. Jason even loves cooking and grilling. I have been surrounded, my whole life, with cooks and maybe that is why I never had to, so, it never came up. *until I wanted to*
I still don’t have to. The one time I had to was when I was seperated from Sydney’s dad. Sydney was four years old and I had to fix her something to eat. Typically, I made a kids cuisine TV dinner but sometimes I would splurge and brown some ground beef. I thought nothing about giving her a spoon and a bowl of it. Heck, she loved it! Ha!
Cooking for me consisted of making it out of the box, or nuking it in the microwave, or even opening up a lunch size bag of Doritos. Regardless, If I cooked it, I always burnt it or ruined it in some way (yes, even in the microwave). I have personally burnt water. But since Jason came into my life, things in the kitchen have changed…. for the better.
I love making a meal for him. I love the thought process of what he might like and how to serve it. I love cleaning the kitchen and setting the table. I love that he can sit down and enjoy it, without having to lift a finger.
Jason is getting his masters. He is in class two nights a week from 6p-10p. He works all week 8a-5p. He has the kids every other weekend, plus Monday, and Wednesday nights from 5-7p (for now). He spends a lot of time commuting back and forth to my duplex, on the other side of Arlington. Not to mention, he has laundry and bills and errands and ALL of the things busy working people have to do on a daily basis. Believe me, if I can spare him a few quiet easy moments, I will. It’s worth it. It makes me want to.
I’ll not go as far as saying I’m a COOK. I am (still) not. But I can tell you I am happy to cook now. I find honor and dignity in it. When I find things like that, I explore them, and hold onto them. Reminds me of washing someone’s feet. (feet and cooking? yeah I know I’m getting somewhere I promise)
My friend Van was telling me how she and Suzy went on a mission with a group in downtown Fort Worth. Everyone gathered with water, soap, and wash cloths and went into the homeless community. They washed their feet, to show them God’s love for them. Jesus washed all his disciples feet, even his betrayer. It’s a humbling of yourself to do that for another, to bow down before them on your knees.
I can imagine the down and out, off their feet, closing their eyes and just for those few moments; all their worries disappear. The thought of it really touched me.
So, one night, I washed Jason’s feet. I wanted to know what Jesus felt like, what Van felt like, what Suzy felt like. What all of those people felt like that trekked under all the bridges to give someone a gift and a few moments of paradise. I wanted to remember and to honor. Words can not convey what actions can.
It was deeply humbling. It was important. It was something, I will never forget. Then, it was my turn and he washed my feet with the same love and care. It bonded us more tightly than before. We made a deal that if we ever got mad at each other, we would have to get down on our knees and wash each other’s feet. Wash away the anger and the stress and find the love. The love that can only be found upon esteeming someone above you.
Cooking is similar. It is a submission, a respect, and an adoration. He makes me want to cook, and I have never felt that way before. Maybe his love inspires me to be more than I am or thought I could be. All I know, is that it greatly benefits my life.
Our happiness in this world depends on the affections we are able to inspire.
— Duchess Prazlin