I’m not a big planner. I’m not. I try to get plans made, but really, I like being spontaneous. Don’t get me wrong. I loooove routines and order. That stuff makes me very happy, but doing something on the fly; throwing a party, grabbing a movie in the afternoon, eating out. Just do it! Just go! It’s an amazing thrill.
I know, I drive Jason CRAZY. He is much slower to the draw. A thinker, a planner, but when I see that window of opportunity….I just can’t help myself, and luckily he plods along with me on all my adventures.
That said, this last weekend – FATHER’S DAY – was not his weekend with the kids. We grieved over it. We did, but we just assumed there was NO WAY we would have them. There was a big fiasco on Easter. We had plans Easter, real plans, and his Ex couldn’t see the kids. I mean paybacks a dog right? He doesn’t grant a favor, she doesn’t grant a favor. It seems that’s the way it goes, from my eyes anyway.
I don’t understand it. I really don’t. Sydney’s Dad and I NEVER had these issues. We never waited to see who was getting the best of who, or if someone was undermining the other. You win some. You lose some, but you do what’s best for the kids and get along. One thing is for certain, when you choose divorce, you are going to miss out on something, and probably something big.
Being around those two are like two prickly porcupines. I can’t hardly stand it. Any moment the needle-like quills are going to fly. I have talked to Jason about just letting it go, and going the extra mile, but he doesn’t want to get walked all over. I can understand that and now, there is no meeting in the middle (yes, folks even after two and half years). Everyone wants their way. Sooooo…..since he doesn’t do what she wants….and what she wants, she thinks is the best way……..therein lies the problem.
I get along with her. I really like her. I mean she is the mother of two precious little people in my life and she picked a great guy to have them with. But I can’t do anything about THEM getting past their issues, and getting along. I’ve tried and it just doesn’t work. I can only keep encouraging them to – for the sake of NOT raising alcoholics – PLEASE GET ALONG. Just do it! Be spontaneously different.
But miracle of all miracles, and a big thank-you to her, we get them on Father’s Day. Unplanned. We had TONS of stuff to get done. House work, yard work, organizing, and we had been out of town all last weekend, etc……but, we were so happy to throw it all out the window and PLAY. Yeah!!
I’ve wanted to go to the big movie with the girls for a looooong time. I mean Sydney went at two years old. Mama Michie took her 18 month old little boy. Did you see his smile? Sooo cute.
Bridget is turning FOUR and has never been to a movie for goodness sake. Apparently the wait was so ALL the family could go, including the Mom. I missed Molly’s first movie because I wasn’t invited, but no hard feelings, right? Sniff. Hmph. But, I digress…….
So, here it is – Father’s Day! We get the kids unexpectedly, the Mom had planned to have them, so she wouldn’t have plans other than the kids. Why not go to the MOVIE!!?! Toy Story 3 just came out. It was too good of an opportunity to miss. Perfect timing. Perfect age. The girls had just watched Toy Story 1 and 2 the day before.
Except when we asked, she said she had to work. Huh!? I mean, okay, her distaste for Jason and being around him is quite known. He wasn’t comfortable about it either, I insisted he ask her before he asked the girls, and she declined. But she had the CHOICE (in fact if we are keeping track, I asked her to the Circus, to Mother’s Day service with the girls, to Bethlehem live, and so on and so on – all DECLINED). You’d think I’d get the hint. Huh.
We were not even invited to Molly’s 6th birthday party with her kindergarten class friends. Nor did we even know about Bridget’s birthday party on Saturday. Not a single family member on Jason’s side invited. Not even the Grandma that picks them up for Church every week. So please, I’m sorry, if I don’t feel bad about our decision. I truly believe we tried to do the right thing. It was not at all intentional to hurt her feelings or make her miss out.
We went and had a blast. Bridget’s smile – so friggin’ excited – I love it. She did very, very well. Although, I don’t recommend a 3D movie for a four-year old. She kept smudging her shades, yo.
It was the best Father’s Day present he could have gotten, second to the adorable coffee mug the girls made for him.
Unplans. The very best kind. Just do it! Just go!