Living, Loving, and Losing

When asked to re-upload an old post that you wished more people had read, I had no hesitation. I knew exactly which one.

**originally published July 28, 2009**

THE FURRY LOVES OF MY LIFE

First off, I have to tell you how much I love animals. ALL creatures. Big and small. My biological dad is an animal buff and my mom is the crazy dog lady she has 24dogs right now!(yes I am worried the animal cops are coming).

I have a hard time killing bugs, yes even spiders, caterpillars ,grub worms, frogs, mice(edit-biting ants and mosquitos don’t count!). God forbid an animal dart out in front of my car and I don’t miss it! I’ve only hit a squirrel once and that was saaaad. I say all that so you know, that what I write about my animals it is from a very soft heart.

My first dog I ever bonded with was my girl Salem. She is a pure bred female black lab she will be 7 yrs old in September. Her full name is Salem Dixie Elizabeth. And she is a HOSS. Her Dad was and she got his figure. That chick is 88lbs!

I was working from home when she arrived. We spent every moment together. I’d look into her sweet face and just melt! I had never fallen for a dog before. She’d lay at my feet all day and sleep in her crate next to me all night. We had our bout of puppy trails but really it wasn’t tooo bad. I mean I didn’t need that rosemary plant she gobbled up out of my garden right?? I’m sure it was mighty tasty.

She turned out to be a GREAT dog. SO smart! I taught her to sit, roll over, lay down, stay, speak and the best one…hi-five both paws!!! It’s the coolest thing. Slap me some skin Salem! HAHA

I even bought my car in 2006 with her in mind. I got one with four doors instead of two so she could hang her head out the window. Tongue wagging and her eyeballs bugging as she blinks her eyes in the wind. Too funny to miss out on that. Ahhh the sweet life of a dog! To this day I can hardly leave her and do take her with me everywhere I can.

001
Salem out window

My second dog was a complete accident. My MOM, the dog collector, had found a puppy. Supposedly, the story goes that a man had a box of puppies that he brought up to garage sale and asked if he could leave them for people to take if they wanted one. Well the owner guy said, “Uhhh NO”. The guy took his box and off to the woods he went where he promptly dumped them to die in the night by coyotes or any other wild animals around.

The next day my mom went back to said place and looked for the puppies. She found ONE. An itty bitty size of my hand black puppy with white on her paws. She took it home (of course!). That happened to be the weekend I came home to visit. I saw in the front yard in a crate this darling puppy. Awwwwh.

001
Puppy Anna 1st day I met her

Now honestly WHO can resist a sweet little puppy and when I looked in her face OMYGOSH it was Salem’s face. Still! I didn’t want or need a puppy! No to potty training, no to chewing , no ,no ,no ,no. But on that day I couldn’t bear to leave another dog at my mom’s. I couldn’t do it (hangs head). She came home with me. Anna Foursocks Elizabeth was entered into the household.

puppy 020
Me & Anna
007
Anna at home on Salem’s bed

Well, Salem thought it was her baby. She licked her, cleaned her, and corrected her. She was such a good mommy! (still is) Anna grew and grew. We discovered she was not black lab at all, but mostly GREYHOUND. So very skinny , very skitsy, very nervous and shy, but really a sweet ,sweet dog. I only changed her name a few times. She was BAD BABY, MISTAKE, PAINFUL, STUPID DOG.

It was a challenge. She wore me out, was hard to potty train, and is not nearly as smart (she ATE the carpet!) as Salem. BUT she is a joy! She is charming, playful, and we have had a lot of laughs watching her chase and CATCH her own tail (ok that was really funny!).

Nowadays, she really is one of the sweetest dogs I’ve ever met. A very grateful dog (like she knows she was abandoned and saved). She always lifts her head as if to thank me when I put her food bowl down. I have to pet her head before she will eat. She also lays her head on my chest and just lets me hug her. She is my cuddle bug. God knew I really needed that.
011
Anna
029
Anna and Salem

So then enters my third pet, who wasn’t physically mine, nor was she legally mine in any way. She is my boyfriends dog. But she and I bonded immediately upon meeting. She is forever in my heart. Her name is Cooper Marie. She is eight yrs old. I got her a purple football and that was our thing, as soon as I’d see her, she’d run and get that purple football! It has a spot to put treats. She eagerly waits for me to fill it up, then off she’d run with it – bouncing. That dog ALWAYS bounced. She was so happy, so beautiful, and so very very dear to me.

007
Me and Cooper

Her and Salem had somewhat of a cease alpha when together (SOMEwhat), but she found her best friend in the whole wild world with Anna.

Anna and her were inseparable; they had the same puppy spirit. They played from minute one. Cooper lost weight. She gained LIFE. She was happier. She was livelier. If I visited her without Anna she would look and look for her. After awhile, she’d run and get her purple football. *funny she wouldn’t get it if you said get your football you had to say PURPLE football*

012
Cooper and Me with her favorite purple football.

025
Anna, Cooper, and Salem playing three way tug

021
Anna and Cooper playing

On her last day in this world I petted her head, leaned down, kissed her saying, “I love you , Cooper. You are a gooooood dog.”

Later, when she was outside we chased each other up and down the hill in the back. Who would have thought she’d be so spry with her white muzzle, slightly stiff hips, and her fat tumors? In that moment she was ONE year old! Happy , playing , running – LOVING life – can’t we all hope we go on a day that was so spectacular in spirit?

What happens to her is a terrible , terrible event and it’s very hard for me to recount but I also think it’s necessary for anyone who might believe she died without her loved ones surrounding her, pouring their hearts into her very soul.

We were going to watch a movie. Four of us. Cooper’s Dad, me, and my daughter, and her boyfriend. We were all right in front of the TV. Salem was laying down. Anna and Cooper started to play (like they ALWAYS did for almost a year!). But something went terribly wrong. Anna jumped up really high (greyhound remember?). She came down with her mouth open near Cooper’s neck (play biting) her jaw slipped through the space between her collar and neck.

When she came right side up she knew she was caught and tried to twist away. From that angle, it actually twisted her lower jaw tightly around Cooper’s collar cinching it tight. Anna was upside down. Cooper was laying on her belly upright and they were tightly wound together. The collar was biting into Anna’s lower jaw.

Think of it like putting your finger against your skin under a bracelet, then twist it around. That’s how they were caught.

How do I know this? I was RIGHT THERE. I saw it happen. Immediately her Dad and I went to them to try and free them. After a moment we quickly realized they were stuck. It was the oddest thing I had ever seen.

We were not panicking. Surely, we just untwist them, or unlatch them. Anna was scared stiff, freaking out, and trying to get away causing her to tug at Cooper. We were trying to keep them still so we could see how they were hung maybe just untwist them. How many times was Anna twisted around and which way do we turn her.

Cooper started to drool. We realized she was not getting enough air. That’s when our inspection turned to PURE panic. “WE HAVE TO GET THE COLLAR OFF!!!” The collar would not simply pull off. It was too tight for one. For two, it was all slippery from her slobber.

“OH NOOOOOOOOOOOO. Please get them loose. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE!”

In that moment, I couldn’t think about Anna I just wanted Cooper LOOSE—PLEASE. Jason tried to get pliers to pull it up enough to get the prong out of the collar but that didn’t work.They just slippped off – useless. Anna had gone stone still in our panic.

I got some scissors squeezed in that tight spot under Cooper’s collar at her neck but they WOULD NOT CUT!!!
“NOOOOOOOOOO NO! NO! NO! PLEASE CUT! PLEEEEEEEEEASE!!!”

He got something to saw at it but it wasn’t cutting the collar through. Her eyes began to close.

“NOOOOOOOOOOOOO! PLEASE NO! Something HAS TO WORK. IT HAS TO! THIS CAN’T BE REALLY HAPPENING! Not her, not Cooper.”

Jason was working feverishly , desperately. I found another pair of scissors. I got them under the collar. They WOULD NOT CUT EITHER. ”

“NOOOOOOOOOOOOO NO NO NO.”

The tears, the panic, the helplessness, MY GOD PLEASE. I went to the knife block. I took them all out. Which would work without cutting off our hands or their limbs??? Or a fatally stab us around moving dogs. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE . I didn’t know which one.

Finally, Jason grabbed a steak knife. I got Anna untwisted one time around (praying it was the right way), he had just enough space to cut through collar. THEY WERE FREED!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But she collapsed, “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO NO NO NO. GOD NO.”

He carried her outside. He put water on her face. He gave her some air. He did mouth to mouth. He begged her to breathe. PLEASE BREATHE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE BREATHE. But she didn’t. She never breathed again. That precious baby was gone.

He laid flat on the ground his arms around her and sobbed. I cried too. Great gulping helpless, shocked tears. I was devastated for his loss. Clueless to how painful it must be. I felt like my baby puppy had murdered his best friend of almost 9yrs. His children’s playmate.

It was utterly devastating. I would have traded both of my dogs (even precious Salem) for her life back. I will never forget one single moment of our fight. Not one moment of us trying SO HARD to save her. And we failed. We failed her. The grief is not measurable.

No matter what we did, it didn’t matter, in an instance she was gone. Life is so fragile and so precious.

His mother and brother came over. We carried her to the car. We took her to the 24hour vet clinic. I watched him at the back of the car. He pet his dog, his friend, crying before he carried her into the clinic. I cried with him and for him.

I watched as he held her in his arms face in her blanket, petting her until they put her on a gurney wheeling her away. My God the PAIN of that. The heart wrenching agony. It ripped us both open.

I still miss her. There is not a moment that I don’t miss her. That I don’t cry for his loss. She was such a gooood gooood dog. His house is not the same without her. It’s very empty. It’s very quiet.

Please get your dog a quick release collar. Never miss an opportunity to pet them and tell them how much you LOVE them. Tell them with your heart not just your words.

Anna did not kill her, nor did he, nor did myself. As much as I tried to blame myself, even for just being his girlfriend, introducing the two dogs. It was not anyone’s fault.

It was a terrible, terrible accident. A terrible, terrible tragedy. I believe something would have cut that collar off, would have worked if it hadn’t been her time. I THANK GOD only my daughter witnessed it and not his two small children, who would have been traumatized for life. God is Good. He really is.

My tribute to Cooper: A poem I wrote and pet memorial.

CLICK HERE FOR PET MEMORIAL OF COOPER

Loving a dog is the most beautiful thing in the world. It WILL bless your life. No matter how it ends. To love someone so unconditionally is a gift from God.

**This is part of the back to blogging with the SITS girls. Thank-you for this chance to re-tell Cooper’s story and possibly save more of our faithful friends by simply changing a collar.

Be sure and visit the sponsors Standards of Excellence, Westar Kitchen and Bath, Florida Builder Appliances. All links open a new window.

19 thoughts on “Living, Loving, and Losing

  1. Oh my gosh. What a terrible tragedy! I’m so sorry that you had to live through that and watch poor Cooper go. At least she knew she was loved and that’s really what matters, right?

    Like

    1. Thank-you Lindsay. There wasn’t a single moment that she didn’t know. We still miss her and love her very much. Especially Jason. Of course, we have baby Brownie now and she has a happy Cooper spirit about her.

      Like

  2. Oh gosh Angelia, that is hearbreaking. What a helpless feeling that must have been. Especially because you are so obviously a dog lover!
    I can see my puppy from where I’m sitting and am getting up to give him a hug right now!

    Like

  3. I am crying. How hard must this has been for you and your family. I am so, so sorry that you had to go through this. Very brave of you to be able to write it down. I bet you cried. My thoughts are with you, your family and Cooper. I am a dog lover too and know how incredibly sad it is to loose a dog in a very sad way.

    Like

  4. Wow what a helpless feeling that had to be for you both, I am so sorry that you had to lose Cooper in this manner and like you said the scissors would have worked had it not been Coopers time to go.

    Like

  5. My heart is broken for you. Losing your beloved pet is so very hard. They bring us such joy, and they’re our best friends, and they depend on us to protect and take care of them. When we fail, or think we failed, then it’s even worse. I understand that. I backed over our beloved dog, Sassy, in the driveway on Sunday. She is alive but in critical condition, and our outcome in unsure at this time. I would throw myself under a truck if I thought it would help her. But you loved Cooper, endlessly, and I love Sassy, dearly, and that is not a failure in any way. Neither of us can go back and undo what happened, but we can go forward in peace, knowing that we loved and were loved by our dogs, and if they had it to do all over again, knowing the outcome, they’d be right here, still loving us. God bless.

    Like

  6. Oh, that must have been the hardest thing ever. That something starting out so fun could end in such devastation is heartwrenching.

    It’s obvious you love your pets, which would have made it all the more devastating.

    Like

  7. I’m sorry Angelia. When I saw which post this was I had to quit reading. The first time I sobbed uncontrollably for too too long and I couldn’t do it to myself again. Just thinking about it brings tears to my eyes. I am SO SO SORRY that you had to go through that. Just heartbreaking.

    Like

  8. This is such a sad story! I feel your pain 😦 I’m not really a dog person but rather a cat person, and by accident, one of my cats died, we usually check out the yard before taking out the car but one day, I must have missed seeing one of them, and the car reversed on it, and it died, and till today, I feel guilty and full of remorse every time I think about that…

    Like

  9. I love all animals, too, with the exception of spiders. They don’t stand a chance with me.

    Your photos are wonderful. I recently lost my lab, my “daughter.” Her passing can’t compare with the story you recounted, which was heartbreaking and horrifying. I can imagine how incredibly difficult it must have been for you to write about it, but it is so kind of you to share such important information about quick release collars. Thank you, and hugs.

    Like

  10. OMGoodness!! I was crying and panicing all at the same time. I can just imagine the panic and frustration at trying to cut through one of those thick collars. Just horrible!

    I guess cause all my dogs have the quick release collars, I sometimes forget that the other ones were still being used.

    The neighbors dog has jumped the fence and they keep trying to move him farther away but the last time I rescued him he was on my side, but only his back feet were touching the ground. The chain was wrapped around a small tree and his head was right up against it, he couldn’t move and was having trouble staying vertical up against the fence. I had a heck of a time getting the chain latch to budge a fourth of an inch just to get it close enough to get it unlatched. It was pretty scary, but I just couldn’t imagine how I would react to something as freaky as two dogs playing and getting stuck like that.

    So sorry for yalls loss.

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s