Diary of a Hospital Honeymoon

Day 1-

ER is so cool! I feel like I’m in a TV show. Any minute a crash cart will go flying by and a miraculous life will be saved. Gosh, Jason sure looks uncomfortable on that stretcher bed. Maybe, I should hold his hand. It’s so neat when he calls me his wife. That’s me! Now they are admitting him for a night. Oh boy, that sounds scary. But how bad could ONE night be? Surely, they will have it all figured out by tomorrow. This will be fun! I’ll make it fun. Ohhhhh, look at our room. It’s nice. It has three windows with nice wood blinds and we have a tree view. Cool! The nurse gave me pillows and blankets for my fold out chair bed. I’m such a good wife to sleep next my hubby even in the hospital. My poor honey. What a crazy honeymoon, we will always remember this.

Day 2-

Luckily someone came by to bring me hot food. Every time I leave the room to pee or get coffee a doctor comes by and I miss what they say. I’m determined to never leave or shower again. That bed was hard and makes terrible sounds when I turn over. Someone must have turned on the lights and came in the room almost every hour. Uuuggh. My poor husband. I am so glad we are married so I can be by his side. They call us the newlyweds and tease that they have to knock before they enter our room. Isn’t that cute? The dumb doctors still don’t know anything. It’s Friday and they are ready for the weekend. They can’t even tell us when we might be able to leave. Another night camping for us, I should pick up some more trail mix the next vending machine run. I’ll have to hurry so I don’t miss a doctor or a nurse. Why don’t they know what’s wrong yet? Maybe the test Monday will give us answers. I can totally do this wait it out thing. We took vows people.

Day 3-

Jason was up all night going to the bathroom. Looks like the diuretics kicked in. I totally slept through the whole thing on my chair bed. I only woke up twice when they took vitals and turned on the lights. I’m getting really good about being able to sleep through those. He said I was snoring. I guess he is a little grumpy from not having a lot of sleep. Gee. At least he is looking better and is not as puffy. I was afraid they’d have to cut the new wedding ring off. Now, that would be sad. I am really ready for him to be better. I was looking forward to the movies this weekend. I guess he wasn’t faking it last week when he was complaining of feeling bad. Heck, we just didn’t have time to be sick in the middle of wedding planning. My sister and her husband came back up and I sure had a nice visit away from the hospital. I didn’t even miss anything. How cool is that? I loved being treated to lunch and dinner. Jason has been feeling nauseated. I’m not sure if it’s his mystery illness or the hospital food. I think that hospital food is real awful. Sure looks it. The doctors still know NOTHING. What a waste of medical school. So glad I said I DO before we got here. I just love being his wife.

Day 4 –

Holy crap, my back huuurts. Ow that &*(@# bed. That’s not a bed, it’s a back twisting torture device. And how many times do they have to check him at night? I mean really? Don’t they have monitors they can watch? And do they have to be so loud in the hall? It sounded like a party. Gah. I haven’t had a decent cup of coffee in four days. FOUR. I stole some of the bath baby wipes to “freshen” up. I don’t think anyone will notice. I wish I could have warmed them up like they did for him. Today is the day Jason has to get up and walk the hall. We are calling it our honeymoon stroll. Aww. Just like the beach (sorta).

My new husband in all his hospital gown hotness.

It’s Sunday, so of course, no one knows what is wrong with him yet. The fill-in doctors come by to check-in. They just mark their visit in the books. They don’t do anything. Jason’s feet touch the end of the bed. I think he is too big for it. It sure doesn’t look comfortable. Not looking forward to laying in the torture device tonight. I have a permanent crick in my lower back left side now. Supposedly, there are tests in the morning but they can’t say for sure since the doc did not order them before he was off for the weekend. What kind of hospital is this? I am soooo ready to go home. This wifely thing is hard.

Day 5-

I have to sit down like an old person. My back is cracked. I must leave here and get Tylenol soon. Ouch. Maybe they will do the test and we can go home. Jason looks worse. I think this hospital made him sicker. I held his hand and knocked his IV astray. It caused bleeding. Oh gee. I didn’t mean to. This is sooo not fun anymore. I cried and felt very selfish. I am just soooo tired of not doing anything. It’s like there is no time here. It’s the same time every day. The only change is the nurses. I found the cafeteria. I am afraid to eat there after seeing Jason’s food and stuck with the vending machines again. Everyone is working so I ran out for hot food while Jason was taken for a CT scan on his head.The doctors decided not to do the heart cath test they prepared us for. Apparently, they made Jason dehydrated with all the diuretics. He lost 11 liters of fluid and dried out his kidneys. Now, he can’t tolerate the dye. Two days ago it was a must do. Now, he doesn’t need it. I hate this place! They can just say whatever they want and they STILL don’t know what is wrong with him. Looks like an extended honeymoon for us. Woo! I cleaned the room and organized our belongings. I used a bath wipe to clean my phone and wipe off his rolling tray. This place is making me weird crazy. But we are making newlywed memories. P.S. I might be committed soon…….

Happy honeymoon sweetie!

To be continued……

20 thoughts on “Diary of a Hospital Honeymoon

  1. Haha, love the costumes–scary! You’re doing a great job of staying on the bright side of it all. You guys will never be boring grandparents when the grandchildren ask about your wedding adventures. 🙂


  2. Wow, Angelia, you amaze me with your ability to be cheerful & funny even if (i’m sure) you are feel sh**tty! I stayed with my grandma in a medical clinic when she was sick and yeah, no matter how ‘sophisticated’ the clinic/hospital is, by the end of the 2nd day, you have horrible pains in the back from the sleeping bed (‘bed’ is an overstatement!) and you yearn for ‘real’ food!
    Wish you continued strength and courage! May you both get out of there soon! 🙂


  3. Rachael

    You crack me up! Love the pictures. Hope they figure it out soon. Let me know if I can bring you anything. Don’t hesitate to call we are always here for yall


  4. suzicate

    Nothing like spending every moment together on your honeymoon…sure hope he’s better soon and you can go on a real one. Then, you’ll have two sets of honeymoon memories to share for years to come. Continued prayers.


  5. Love the matching halloween costumes! What a positive way to look at it.
    I don’t know about where you are, but sometimes you can get food delivery to the hospital- ask at the nurses station. Chinese food does wonders for the soul. Also, little miss vending machine, get yourself some fresh fruit and veggies. I don’t want you getting sick from nasty processed food.
    Enjoy another honeymoon stroll together down the hall, and focus on making the next one out the door!


  6. Tanya

    Ugh…what a sucky honeymoon! I can’t believe they don’t know what’s going on yet! Can’t they do this testing on an outpatient basis? Geeze! I’ll keep you guys in my prayers for a speedy recovery and (more importantly) DISCHARGE!


  7. I can’t believe you’re still there – and still not knowing anything! I can only imagine how frustrating that is for you. Super huge prayers for the doctor’s insight and a rapid release!!


  8. You are funny, but I know this is not funny at all. Praying for you both.You certainly are going to have amazing honeymoon stories for the grandchildren. We never took a honeymoon – we got married at the Olympics in Atlanta, 1996 – but, we did have an amazing “honeymoon” for our 10th anniversary in Greece!


  9. Hopefully you will get answers quickly, as you said this little side trip will be a memory making honeymoon, hopefully a true get away for the both of you will be coming real soon.


  10. Yeah, medicine is not like it is on TV when they can always figure out what is up. Too many things, too many different bodies, just too much.

    The body is such a delicate balance of systems it is difficult to tell what is off.

    I’ve got nothing. I hope you can remember and take time to take care of you because it wouldn’t be a good thing for you to get sick or to permanently injure your back on that torture device you are sleeping in. Often times people forget that being a good wifey includes take care of herself!


  11. sydney

    Ha! I read all of it. 🙂 I like how at first you’re like, ohh this is cool, ohh this is crappy, ohh i really hate this place now.. ooooh okay i definitely wanna go home now.


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