Got this by email from one of my friends. It’s rare for me to get something I haven’t seen, something as fresh and as funny as this piece is. I have no one to credit, but truly whoever wrote it… Please know how much I appreciate the laugh on this dreary day. Readers enjoy a chuckle until I get my next post done – which is in drafts – full of gorgeous landscape photography. Please note……If you are easily offended skip this post.
Dear Noah,
We could have sworn you said the ark wasn’t leaving till 5.
Sincerely,
Unicorns
Dear Twilight Fans,
Please realize that because vampires are dead and have no blood pumping
through them, they can never get an erection.
Enjoy fantasizing about that.
Sincerely,
Jacob
Dear Icebergs,
Sorry to hear about the global warming. Karma’s a bitch.
Sincerely,
The Titanic
Dear America ,
You produced Miley Cyrus. Bieber is your punishment.
Sincerely,
Canada
Dear Yahoo,
I’ve never heard anyone say, “I don’t know, let’s Yahoo! it…” just
saying…
Sincerely,
Google
Dear 2010,
So I hear the best rapper is white and the president is black? WTH
happened?!
Sincerely,
1985
Dear Windshield Wipers,
Can’t touch this.
Sincerely,
That Little Triangle
Dear Rose,
There was definitely room on that raft for the both of us.
Sincerely,
Jack
Dear girls who have been dumped,
There are plenty of fish in the sea… Just kidding! They’re all dead.
Sincerely,
BP
Dear jf;ldsfa/kvsmmklnn,
Please lknvfdmv.xvn.
Sincerely,
Stevie Wonder
Dear Nickleback,
That’s enough.
Sincerely,
The World
Dear Skin-Colored Band Aids,
Please make one for every skin color.
Sincerely,
Black people
Dear Osama Bin Laden,
Marco….
Sincerely,
United States
Dear World of Warcraft,
Thank you for ensuring my son’s virginity.
Sincerely,
Parents Everywhere
Dear Anne Frank,
Two can play this game….
Sincerely,
Waldo
Dear Batman,
What was your power again?
Sincerely,
Superman
Dear Customers,
Yes, we ARE making fun of you in Vietnamese.
Sincerely,
Nail Salon Ladies
Dear Americans,
I’m sorry, did you just insult us? I couldn’t hear you over my health care
benefits.
Sincerely,
Canadians
Dear Global Warming,
You’re the best imaginary friend ever!
Sincerely,
Al Gore
Dear Ugly People,
You’re welcome.
Sincerely,
Alcohol
Dear Mr. Gump
What are you talking about? There’s a little diagram on the lid that tells
you EXACTLY what you’re gonna get….
Sincerely, Jenny
Dear Martin Luther King Jr.
I have a dream within a dream within a dream within another dream…. What
now?
Sincerely,
Leonardo Di Caprio
Dear World,
Please stop freaking out about 2012. Our calendars ends there because some
Spanish d-bags invaded our country and we got a little busy ok?
Sincerely,
The Mayans
Dear Snooki,
GET BACK TO WORK!
Sincerely,
Willy Wonka
Dear White People,
Don’t you just hate immigrants?
Sincerely,
Native Americans
Dear Twihards,
If he sparkles, he’s probably one of ours .
Sincerely,
Gay Men Of America
Dear iPhone,
Please stop spellchecking all of my rude words into nice words. You piece of
shut.
Sincerely,
Every iPhone User
Dear Giant Spider on the Wall,
Please die. Please die. Please die. Please die. CRAP! Where did you go?
Sincerely,
Terrified
Dear Trash,
At least you get picked up…
Sincerely,
The Girls of Jersey Shore
Dear Dr. Phil,
Look man, there’s only room for one fake doctor in this world and I was here
first.
Sincerely,
Dr. Pepper
LOL A great collection of 1-lnrs with some really good ones! Even my canine funny bone was tickled.
Sandy
http://www.Sandysays1.wordpress.com
PS
Dear IRS Auditor,
“The vampires got all of that.”
Joe Public
LikeLike
Sandy– HA! That’s great! (and I think they did) 🙂
LikeLike
I definitely needed this chuckle. Thanks!!
LikeLike
Kimberly-I truly enjoyed the Canadian references. Espcially Bieber – my daughter’s favorite singer – payback inddeed! 😀
LikeLike
I just about pissed myself reading these to some co-workers. Thank you for making my Tuesday a whole lot better.
LikeLike
Joshua-Seriously! LOL! Glad I could help spread the good news. It’s been a while since I’ve seen stuff this funny. 🙂
LikeLike
These are awesome!!! I couldn’t decide on my favorite, but the Snooki/Willy Wonka one was genius 🙂
LikeLike
Maddy-I know! That one was GREAT. I pick couldn’t either, but I am leaning toward the iPhone user one. The word predict is sooo retarded. That one really cracks me up (plus I posted this from my iPhone!).
LikeLike
Fabulous! I wish I could be this witty on a daily basis 🙂
LikeLike
OMG. I needed this! Especially today!
Thank you!
LikeLike
too funny!
LikeLike
Oh my gosh, this is HILARIOUS. I freaking love it!
LikeLike
Dear Angelia,
LMAO!
Warmest personal regards,
J.
LikeLike
The next was better than the previous and go on and on…i really think this is smart humor! Thanks! Loved it!
I loved this one the most!
Dear White People,
Don’t you just hate immigrants?
Sincerely,
Native Americans
LikeLike
“Dear Customers,
Yes, we ARE making fun of you in Vietnamese.
Sincerely,
Nail Salon Ladies”
Ha! You Know that’s true!
LikeLike
LOVE this one!!!
Dear World,
Please stop freaking out about 2012. Our calendars ends there because some
Spanish d-bags invaded our country and we got a little busy ok?
Sincerely,
The Mayans
LMAO!!! Lots of funnies!
LikeLike
This was too good and too funny. Thank you
LikeLike
Loved them!! I kept reading them back to my husband so he could laugh with me.
LikeLike
OMG! That was the funnest thing I have read in ages – thank you so much for cracking me up (and I am definately going to FWD – LOL).
Best,
Colleen
LikeLike
ha! love it! Thanks for the giggles!
LikeLike
Thanks for brightening my day. I needed that!
Lots of yummy love,
Alex aka Ma What’s For Dinner
http://www.mawhats4dinner.com
LikeLike
Those were freaking hilarious. I’m not sure which was the best but they were all good. And PS…it”s NOT just Iphone. That predictive text on my droid drives me insane….
LikeLike
These are awesome!!!! I wanna steal this post and put it on my blog!!! 🙂
LikeLike
The spider one is my fav.
XD
LikeLike
Loved this one
So glad to find your blog. Even tho we live in the same state. It took a freshly pressed to find you..
Keep rockin good blogs
Tim
LikeLike