I am a wee bit behind in posting and reading blogs……at least it feels that way.
I don’t have an excuse. I just get distracted very easily. Sometimes, my attention is here, then it is there. I just go with the flow. It makes my life less chaotic. If I tried to over-analyze it, I’d probably end up with a diagnosis of ADD or bi-polarism.
The truth of it is……I just lack organization and planning skills.
Plus, I’m interested in too many things and can’t fit them all in.
Oh, but I try……and there’s the rub.
What does this have to do with illumination? Well, understanding myself and trying to get where I want to be. It is illuminating.
Accepting myself – flaws and all – gives me a sense of peace.
Resolve was the theme for Project 52 last week.
Fitting for this time of year. My resolve is to be more positive. So, I took a photograph of our wind chime outside.
Happy, sunny, smiley, and all glowey. It’s perfect, no?
But it wasn’t. It wasn’t perfect at all. Something was distinctly off about that representation.
I stared and stared at the image. Trying to pinpoint what didn’t fit. I wanted to be happier, right? But happier didn’t seem to ring true.
I am happier. Even depressed, I am happy. I am very laid-back and easy-going. Oh, there are certain times of the month I get wound up, most especially, if I have just taken a dose of steroids for my gigantic hives. But mostly, I am content.
I love my life. The good, the bad, the ugly, and the beautiful.
But there are times, when the darkness of my past….when the sting of bad decisions…..and all the wrongs of the world…..threaten to take me down.
Sometimes, I let them.
And it is not a pretty place.
So my resolve, the one that fit the most, and called to my heart…is to always shine, even when the days are dark.
Just like my Christmas Cactus….
This flower is engineered to come alive when the nights get longer. See, it only blooms when it has so many hours of darkness – about 12. That happens to coincide with the time change, and the winter months. When our days get shorter….and darker.
Click on any image to display a larger slide show of images.
Not only are they gorgeous blooms from a dry old cacti plant, but there is something special about them.
An inner glow. An illumination. Do you see it?
That is what I strive for.
No matter how dark it is…..open despite the darkness and shine from within.
The photo above I submitted for Week Two of Project 52. It was chosen as a top ten artist of the week. You can view the feature on Daphne’s blog: Ellenburgh’s Photography.
Maybe, just maybe….I’m on the right path here.
In order for the light to shine so brightly, the darkness must be present. -Francis Bacon
For more illumination, check out The Daily Post Weekly Photo Challenge.
I like your post ! I had thoughts along the same vein but I did not know how to express it!
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Oh goodness! Great minds think alike…..I’m sure your illumination is fabulous. 🙂
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Still is beautiful! keep on Illuminating! 😀
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Thank-you, I will emulate the flower and our new lava lamps. 🙂
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I respect your resolve to always shine. I also believe that it is ok for people to feel what they feel. Sometimes we feel sad, mad, depleted, angry, etc. It’s part of life. One cannot be happy all the time. For me it is about not letting myself get stuck in the “dark” or act mean because I am sad, mad, depleted, angry, etc. (whatever), but I still get to feel what I feel because they are feelings uncontrollable. It’s my actions I control. I don’t believe I have to fake being happy I just don’t want to “lash out” so to say. I might me less “shiny” some days. 🙂
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Terre – I totally agree. I wear my emotions on my sleeve. I couldn’t fake happy if I tried, but I don’t show my dark side either. There is a lot of anger there. Illuminating that keeps it from rearing it’s ugly head.
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Hugs!
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Top ten! Cool!
More positive? I’m positive you can do this!
Hang in, Angelia. You got it all goin,’ on, girl. 😉
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Thanks Gemma! My husband and I have started watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix. It wasn’t until the end of Season 3 that I realized…..HEY…I know a Gemma! (The mom of the main character is named Gemma). And it’s you. 🙂 It is not a name you hear often. Thought that was cool.
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You do shine Angelia…we see your light in the darkness. Sometimes it may be dimmer than others but it never goes out. I made that resolution many years ago when I spent quite some time battling with depression and the darkness that enveloped me at times. It isn’t easy…I still slip at times…but the times start to happen less frequently and begin to shorten in their duration.
You are a SONS fan. I first watched it when by accident I caught episode 1 season 1 and have been a fan ever since. I even turned the kids on to it though they would never admit that fact. Have you seen season 5 yet ?? Every season I think it can’t get better but it does. There was an episode this season which just made me gasp it was so good. Kim Coates is such a amazing actor but where he took this…I was in tears !!!
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We started SONS about 2 weeks ago from the beginning. We are on mid-season 4. Since 5 just ended not sure when it will come out. We will probably have to get it on Hulu. I love it. 🙂
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I am so addicted to it…just love that show.
🙂
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This is such a great post, Angelia. I so enjoyed reading it, and your pics are gorgeous. Just be yourself is all that matters. 🙂
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Thank you! I think being that is the best idea. 🙂
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I liked the sun image, but the Christmas cactus stole the show. Shine on, girl.
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Okay Angelia, can I just say that I think this post is BRILLIANT in so many ways!
” Well, understanding myself and trying to get where I want to be. It is illuminating.
Accepting myself – flaws and all – gives me a sense of peace.”
That’s the key…to accept ourselves, warts and all, yet still see the beauty within.
Last year I shared a post about happiness and whether or not it’s a state of mind or a state of condition. For me, it’s a state of mind and how I perceive it. I still have a choice to be happy in an unhappy experience. Sure, I can still experience all the emotions involved (anger, sadness, etc.) but not STAY there. If I allow myself to feel the emotions, they will gradually move me through them; finding peace. If we never experienced darkness, we would never know light.
“No matter how dark it is…..open despite the darkness and shine from within.”
Amen!
Faaaaaabulous photo, Angelia!
X
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You always shine. Hope you feel better. 🙂
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Beautiful Captures! I love playing with light when taking photos.
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Sometimes we are up and sometimes not so up. IMHO, the most important thing is to try to have no regrets. Your illuminations are beautiful and so worthy of recognition. Well done on all counts!
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Thanks Patricia! That is part of the problem. For the first time in my life, I do have regrets. I usually don’t. Trying to get past that has tripped me up, but I will continue to not give up. I KNOW I can come to terms with my mistakes and find the silver lining. 🙂
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Beautiful thoughts. And you do shine!
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This is a beautiful “illuminating” post
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shine on girl! love how you took us through a bit of dark times and ended with a beautiful illumination moment. congratulations on the top ten!! 🙂
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It’s like reading my own thoughts. I admire your honesty and view of things. Of embracing hope and trying your best. Beautiful post that makes me appreciate the many ups and downs of my past. “So my resolve, the one that fit the most, and called to my heart…is to always shine, even when the days are dark.” Wonderful words and images. Best wishes to you and your family.
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Love your genuine post. They say all the pain we have struggled through takes us to the true person we grow into. Because without that past pain..hardships, we would not know what another feels with compassion. You are a true woman in every sense of the way. Your style of writing is remarkable and your illumination of photography.., priceless my friend. You captured not only illumination, but the heart within it! No doubt the photo would be in the top ten 🙂
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Beautiful post! Understanding and accepting ourselves – warts and all – is one of the most beautiful illuminations. Keep shining! 🙂
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I love that sun. I love celestial things. So cute.
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Wonderful and unusual… 🙂
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