Time, time, time
See what’s become of me…
That rascal time has done it again. Minutes tripped into days. Days tripped into months. Months tripped into years. Blown away. Flown away. Swept out into the horizon and vanished with the settings of many suns.
Where does it go?
Your guess is as good as mine.
But in that passage of time, there is so much more than the days and nights. There is joy and sadness. Burdens and blessings.
Hearts have mended. Hearts have broken. Some pieces had to be reshaped. Some drifted away like dust to sky. Tender new sprouts took their place.
I’m not going to pretend the last few years have been easy breezy. They haven’t. Life can be hard. Death is harder. Life after loss is the journey. Finding your way without them. Finding the YOU that you are when they are gone.
We laid my Mom to rest. My last living parent.
You know I thought I lost her long ago. To her illness. To her alcohol. To her memory loss. But it wasn’t until she was really gone that I understood what losing your Mother is really like.
It’s been over a year now. See? Sneaky time trickster. I can finally take a breath when I realize she is not here. The shock of it, not as intense. I don’t look for her signs (or smells) as much. Although they pop out every so often, like the Bluebird flying straight at me while admiring Spring in the backyard.
It’s little things to remember. Memories to hold close. And….. I know. I probably haven’t grieved properly.
Because what is that really?
But the sun still sets. My precious family encircles me. I know in every part of my heart where her spirit beats within the new places and the old.
We were born to die, and we die to live. As seedlings of God, we barely blossom on earth; we fully flower in heaven.
2 thoughts on “Changes of Time”
I’m so sorry, Angelia. I lost my father when I was eight years old and it destroyed me. My biggest fear is to lose my mom or my stepdad. I can’t even begin to imagine the pain you’re feeling. Please know that I’m here for you, seriously here for you, if you ever want to talk whether it’s to vent or to share memories of your mother or whatever. I’ll keep you in my prayers, my thoughts and my heart. Love to you and your family.
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Thank you so much for your support! It will be 10 years since I lost my Step-Dad. I know what you mean! So hard! And with Mom now too. It feels very strange to have no grandparents, or parents living. Luckily, I have a wonderful Mother-in-Law and she is a great friend too! I really appreciate your thoughts. If you ever need an ear, please reach out to me as well.