There was never any doubt

When I looked into your eyes for the first time……I saw a twinkle of merriment, a spark of surprise, and a life-time of safe keeping……There was never any doubt.

When I took your hand through the unmoving crowd during our first date……I knew we wouldn’t be separated…..I knew I could trust you wouldn’t let me get crushed……I held tightly to your hand……still do……There was never any doubt.

When I stepped into your arms for our first hug……I felt a blanket of protection……my heart surged with relief… life raft, tattered by so many storms, found its safe harbor……I let go of my fears……There was never any doubt.

When I kissed you for the first time……the world stopped……except for the hammering of my heart……I was surprised……I guess playing the Tuba in high school really does come in handy……There was never any doubt.

When you told me you loved me……the room didn’t spin……I didn’t head for the hills in a dead run……I sighed and nestled deeper into your arms……knowing this was a miracle……There was never any doubt.

When you held me up……and let my tears fall on your shoulder……as you helplessly watched me grieve over the casket of my father……There was never any doubt.

When the sadness of this loss struck my heart, deeper than I ever imagined……you did not turn away……you became my shield……you softened the blow……There was never any doubt.

When you saw my heart in pieces at his graveside……you carefully placed them in your pocket……silently mending them with your patience, your understanding, and your deep compassion……There was never any doubt.

When you were there for me in my time of greatest need……it meant everything to me……how could you have known I would lose my father in the first three months of dating……how could you have known you would have to hold me up so soon……you were the only thing that kept me from falling……You are, and will always be, my life-line……There was never any doubt.

When I watched two dark-haired little girls curl up into your lap……you held them gently……you hugged them tenderly……softly you kissed their silky hair……I knew your children were a treasure more precious than all the gifts of the world……There was never any doubt.

When you cracked open a Blue Nile box with the most beautiful engagement ring inside……you said the words……over the squeals of happy children……over the barks of two big dogs……over the cost of a future teen step-daughter……I said yes with no hesitation……There was never any doubt.

When I held your hand…….as your mom lay in ICU……not knowing what her future was……so close to the day of our future……I witnessed the most devastating days of your life……I prayed beside you and with you……There was never any doubt.

When I looked into your crystal blue eyes on our wedding day……and saw all the joy I could ever know…….all the love I could ever receive…..all the days I could ever wish for……There was never any doubt.

When hardships strike with their cruelty……when life shakes our foundation……when the world seems a dark and scary place……I always find the warm light of your precious heart of peace……and……There is never any doubt.

Happy Anniversary to the one who “gets” me.

I love you more than these words can say.


The Anniversary of Triple Tens

One year ago, I married the most amazing man in the world.

I remember how excited I was. It surprised me. I was convinced I’d be a bundle of nerves, or a crying hot mess (tears of joy, but sooo not pretty!).

Instead, I walked to that doorway and I was happy, no, thrilled. The day was finally here. And we fought hard for it. We made it happen despite many unpredictable heartbreaks.

My future mom lay in ICU.

My mother was MIA somewhere in the city of Dallas.

But despite it all, I looked at my four beautiful flower girls, and one handsome ring bearer, and I knew, I would never have this moment again.

My daughter, me, my childhood friend, & my sister

I think my sister was more nervous than me. Her eyes were full of tears and I wanted to smack her with my bouquet and say, “Do NOT make me cry!”

I laughed instead.

And then I walked down the aisle. I did not stumble on my dress. I did not fall, or slip. I didn’t walk too fast, or too slow. I looked straight ahead at the man I was to marry. And he looked sooooo good.

Our wedding ceremony began at about 3:10 (for the three ten’s).

I spoke my vows to him in front of God, our family, and our wonderful guests in the beautiful St. Matthews United Methodist Church.

It was more incredible than I could have imagined.

Then, we played Westside Music Ministry’s – Have a Little Faith in Me – as we poured three tubes of sand into one heart-shaped vase. Pink for the three girls, peach for Jason, and beige for me. We mixed them together symbolizing our new blended family. No matter what, these sands can never be separated. And knowing the difficult future we face, we vowed to have faith, no matter what. Faith in our life together.

In a blink, the ceremony was over and we were man and wife.

Then we played,It Takes Two, an 80’s hit, (also played on The Proposal movie) and did our cool exit.

We purposely did something fun to celebrate this last part of the wedding. I don’t think anyone will forget it, at least I won’t.

Our new family.

Our gorgeous wedding.

Our amazing family and friends.

And the most angelic girls in the world.

Our perfect 10 wedding.

A day I will remember forever.

We had a quite a first year.

These precious moments helped us through them.



And marriage.

Now….it’s one year later.

Happy Anniversary Sweetheart!

Special thanks to Bella Lucia Photography for traveling from Oregon to Texas to photograph our wedding.

A Wedding Post – The Sand Ceremony

Four months ago, I stood under a beautiful stained glass window, in a charming Methodist Church. A place our daughters, and mother loved dearly. A day fraught with meaning, love, and dedication (not to mention the blood, sweat, and tears).

I made God breathed promises to a man and his two daughters. Three people who I adore with all my heart. With my stunning daughter, two families became one. Our blended joy held in a clear glass vase of unity. Our wedding sand ceremony.

The colors were peach, beige, and pink. The girls were pink (of course). Jason was peach, and I was the beige. We each had a vase to hold and pour. One, by one, we filled the vase with our personal color. Not only combining a beautiful tapestry of art, but a reminder of this moment, and this day when we became a blended family.

Our differences unique, but when blended together, make a beautiful piece of work. It was perfect.

I did consider the unity candle, but to me, the sand was so much closer to what I thought we were. And I love that we can keep it on our mantle at home.

The song we played while we poured the sand was Have a Little Faith in Me sung by Westside Music Ministry. I’ve put a video together of the wedding pictures our step-brother Kevin took. I haven’t ordered Kellene’s yet, but I will as soon as I can. I love them all.

The song we picked wasn’t just for the flow and tune (although, I do love that). The song reminds me of our “broken” roads of the past. Both of us devastated by divorce. Neither of us intent on remarriage. Neither of us willing to risk being hurt again. And neither of us wanted our children to EVER suffer another divorce, and believe me, it is the children that suffer.

It took a lot of faith to walk that road. To trust. To love. To believe. To I do again.

“When your back’s against the wall, just turn around, and you will see. I’ll be there to catch you. I will catch your fall. Just have a little faith in me.”

Faith is why we chose to love again. Faith healed our hurts. God brought us together and every broken piece from our lives FIT (perfectly).

On this day, our wedding day, we faced a mom (his) in ICU. And a mom (mine) missing. Yet somehow, God held us close and brought us a day we will never forget and always cherish.

Have a little faith…..have a little faith…..

Happy four months to us and many, many more.

Best Film of 2010

Coming soon to a theater near you….

Or your YouTube, Facebook, or mobile device.

However you want to view it, it’s a coming attraction! And we have a trailer! Because?

We got our wedding clips on DVD. We are in the process of converting them to Mac iMovie. Okay, JASON is in the process of converting them. I secretly think he wants to be a producer/director. He is really into it (and he’s good!).

The story goes…there was not going to be a videographer at the wedding. I didn’t feel it was necessary. We were too broke. But when disaster struck, when we knew Jason’s mom, and my future mom-in-law, would not be at the wedding. Friends (lifelong friends) came to our rescue and had their son film from the choir pit on a tripod. We could capture the event, and she could see the entire wedding when she was better. We did not know, at that time, my mom would also miss the wedding (but that’s another story!).

So we have the wedding on film in pieces and are arranging it into one long film.

The few segments I’ve seen, I ADORE. My favorite part is all the friends in the Church pews with cell phones snapping away. You all are such a treasure. I’ve said before, it was a FUN day. We had many rough days before (and after), but that DAY, October 10, 2010 at 3:10pm (for the three 10’s) was the happiest day of my life. I was not nervous. I was not stressed. I was just full of joy and everything worked perfectly.

Is our life going to be perfect? Far from it! But I will do what it takes to keep our joy alive.