The Little Shop of Costume Horrors

There is a crisp breeze to the air. Orange is the primary color of the month. And at every store corner is a jack-o-lantern with an evil grin.

It must be the season of the ghoulish ghouls. Mwahahaha!

A perfect time of year to take the little girls to the Halloween store and scare the wee out of them look at bloodcurdling costumes.

I mean, how scary can it be? It’s not like anything is real. Right, girls? Girls?

Heeeyyyy, I found an old friend (ha! punny!). Nothing to be frightened of girls. It’s just me, hanging with my buddy, he is an environmentally friendly fella. Heh.

By the way, the girls did NOT like my fella.

I think they said, “Get me out of here!” Or maybe it was, “Get away from that thing!”
I know there were some terrified glances, a few squeals, and then a mad dash. We lost them for a few minutes in their flee of terror. I am not sure why? Don’t they know they are not real? We kept trying to tell them…..

Dad didn’t help matters.

I finally found one of the girls just a few aisles over.

Ummmm….W-O-W. Back that thing up.

Let’s label this photo: too much booty for an eight-year old. And I’m really not sure why anyone would want to be a GIANT derrière for Halloween. I think there is enough of those this year, with the election and all. HA.

Maybe it goes with a Pirate costume…..

Anywho, I quickly led her to a different aisle.

And discovered this atrocity.

Awe!

Is it wrong I think this is adorable? I just want to pick her up and give her a cuddle.

In a scary movie, I’d be asking for it dead.

In no time at all, the other child moved from body parts to head-gear. Isn’t that awesome? I think the Drama Queen shirt makes it so.

Pretty soon, the costume changes, and hair-raising antics were out of control. I had to rein them in to keep them from having nightmares.

Be still my darling children, and come to Step-Mama.

Oh yes, the little shop of costume horrors is, as entertaining, as it is horrendous.

Have you visited the Halloween store yet?

Dear Office Space

I worked with you for many years.

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Through traffic jams.

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Down loooong underground hallways (between you and me…..I would always imagine running in terror down this hallway from something large and fierce, barely making it out the glass doors to the garage). And this is why you shouldn’t let your thirteen-year old read Stephen King books. And can I add? They pipe creepy elevator music down this tunnel making it seem like some kind of secret science project straight of Lost.

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Up elevators to the fourth floor.

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Riding the elevators would take forrrrrrever! Mostly on Mondays, and coming back from lunch late.

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In my work suite, I would hide in my cubbie all day.

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Popping up like a hamster to talk to fellow co-workers, or see who came in the door.

Being right next to the child support office, we had a lot of stragglers (not that the door didn’t say WHO we were), and rumor is……the waiting room at that government office had walls padded with Kevlar. Really!

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My fourth floor window overlooked the Naval base. The high-sped jets, and the incoming storms were a sight to see.

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I enjoyed the MOST amazing sunsets.

Oh, my dear, dear office space….I will MISS you.

But.

NOTHING compares to the glorious office space of HOME.

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It happened. I have joined thousands of workers, and employers that have implemented cost-saving measures (no rent, no gas, no commute) to office from home. After working in West Fort Worth, and commuting 30+ miles for over thirteen years, I am now working that same job in the comfort of my front room. I must say…..it’s different. I feel like I am playing hookey, but working harder than ever. I am sure I will get more used to it. I noticed last night, I did not have to sit in Ranger Game traffic to get home. My friends, that saved me over an hour of frustration. Oh yes, I think I will get used to this…..wouldn’t you?

See ya office space…it’s been great knowing you.

Now, I’m off to take my first shower in five days, and maybe I’ll change into a new pair of jammies….HA. I’m, of course, KIDDING.

Photos by iPhone 4S

Wordless(ful) Wednesday: Storm Chasing

First of all, I missed trick-or-treating with my five and seven-year old stepdaughters.

Believe me, I missed a LOT!

They have the greatest neighborhood for trick-or-treating. Lots, and lots of little kids (and parents), all dressed up – super cute. Everyone heads out at the same time, walking the four or five streets in big masses.

If you are my age, it’s just like the neighborhood in the movie, E.T. Phone home! Phone home! It’s really awesome and incredibly fun.

But, I had class. Yes, I could have missed it……however…….I entrusted my mega camera to my dear husband. I said, “Just put on AUTO mode, and you will be fine.”

As far as I can tell, he used SHUTTER mode. I don’t even use Shutter mode. I can’t for the life of me imagine how S is confused with AUTO on the dial, but I digress…..

Here are the photos from the night – taken by sweet husband – who is normally very good with my camera (in AUTO mode). VERY GOOD. Thank-you honey for taking the camera. Please pardon the blurry ones.

These are way too good to miss, heh!

Can you guess what step daughter number one is?

If you guessed, F3 tornado from Oklahoma? You would be correct!

Or maybe she is just a tornado, but let an Okie girl have her fun, mkay?

Step daughter number two is a bug weather fairy. I think….. I mean she has rain boots on (and lord knows we need lots of that!). I adore her pretty wings!

They traipsed around the neighborhood (or swirled, or flew, or blasted?).

I’m surprised no one was taking cover in the closet! She totally should have carried a siren with her.

This is my favorite part of the Halloween documentation photos and where I get to say….Jason is storm chasing! HA. I crack myself up!

Look out! A tornado is heading for a house and some kids! Take cover! Ahhhh!

Give me some candy or you’ll end up on the other side of town. WHOOSH!!!

Here we have, funnel cloud in motion, not to be confused with funnel cake. Totally different, but I’m hungry, so I could confuse?

Look out little fairy! You are going to blow away! WHOOOSH!!

I have to give props to their mom for a very UNIQUE costume this year. She makes them by hand (seriously…wow!) every year.

I don’t think I have ever seen a tornado costume before, especially one as cute as her. Where is a contest when you need one?

And for the best news of all, the weather fairy said we should have more rain and cooler temps soon. Yay!

This (I swear!) is my last Halloween post, but I saved the best for last, right?

The Summer of Hot

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Today will mark the 39th day of temperatures soaring to over 100-degrees in the Dallas/Fort Worth area.

Thirty-nine days of melt everything-in-your car searing heat. Thirty-nine days of risking serious burn putting on your seat belt. Thirty-nine days of hovering in front of an AC unit, just to survive. Thirty-nine days of crispy brown grass and dead – way dead – plants.

Thirty-nine days.

And that’s not even the record. The record in 1980 is listed as forty-two 100+ days in a row.

Which we will beat – according to forecasters – on Friday.

It’s not just the record number of 100+ days in a row, we are, also, breaking temp records each day. Record low at night, record high during the day.

Today, as usual, we could break a record high. The record is 106. Temp today? 107

Two things I can assure you.

One, it’s not a dry heat.

Two, there hasn’t been a drop of rain either (oh, there are urban legends of rain, and/or mirages of rain), it’s not real. If you have seen rain, you risked outside exposure one too many times.

There is a small – obviously sick – part of me that looks forward to the new blazing summer record.

Hey, we got this far! Might as well make history.

Unless something crazy happens, we definitely will.

Now more people can understand why we have tinted windows in our cars and swimming pools on every corner.

These are not optional, they are required.

I hope wherever you are…..you are cool. In Texas, we are just HOT.

Happy Summer!