Tag: HOPE

I Am Rich

On By AngeliaIn In my heart forever & ever, Love and Light19 Comments

I am filled up and overflowing.

I am abundantly supplied with love, support, and all the hugs I can hold.

I am blessed with family near and far; blood, step, blended and befriended.

I adore you all. I am so very thankful for you.

I read an email earlier this week and it reverberated in my soul. It was written by evangelist Greg Laurie. Some of you know, it was his radio show I listened to that turned my life from one of abuse, hurt, despair, and pain addiction to one of hope, joy, and blessings. The Bible came alive when I heard him speak about it and for the first time in my life, I truly understood what the Cross meant. So to Greg, thank-you and I am sharing your email on a day I am most thankful for.

    Oh, give thanks to the Lord, for He is good! For His mercy endures forever.
    — Psalm 107:1

    It seems as though merchants really don’t know what to do with Thanksgiving. They market Halloween and Christmas and make a lot of money off these holidays. But they don’t really know what to do with Thanksgiving, which is really very spiritual in its origins. It was designated by President George Washington in 1789 as a national day for giving thanks to God.

    In the midst of all our feasting, it is very easy to forget about the one we are celebrating. Sometimes we even forget to give thanks altogether. You might be thinking, Well, I don’t have a lot to give thanks for. Maybe you are having financial troubles or health problems. Maybe there is conflict in your family. But we need to put things into perspective. As someone wrote,

    If you woke up this morning with more health than illness, you are more blessed than the million who won’t survive the week. If you have never experienced the danger of battle, the loneliness of imprisonment, the agony of torture, or the pangs of starvation, you are ahead of 20 million people around the world. If you attend a church meeting without fear of harassment, arrest, torture, or death, you are more blessed than almost three billion people in the world. If you have food in your refrigerator, clothes on your back, a roof over your head, and a place to sleep, you are richer than 75 percent of this world. If you have money in the bank, in your wallet, and spare change in a dish someplace, you are among the top 8 percent of the world’s wealthy.

    There is a lot to give thanks for. And the primary reason we were put on this earth as human beings is to glorify God and to give Him thanks.

I am so thankful to God and all he has done in my life. For his grace and his love.

I am rich. I am rich in more ways than I can ever explain to you.

A great treasure this year is Sue getting a hospital day pass to have Thanksgiving dinner with her family. That’s right. Mother-in-law gets to leave a hospital room for the first time in two months to be with her family. We are rich.

I have three beautiful and fun daughters that I cherish more than anything in the world.

I am rich.

I have an amazing husband who is kind, generous, loving and good to the very soul of his being. He is my “perfect” match. The man I wrote a list about. A fantasy list of characteristics which couldn’t possible be in one mate, but there he was. Rich beyond measure.

So…from our family to yours, HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

Be Rich.

Be Blessed.

Be Generous.

Be Loved.

And most of all…………. have fun!

Ha!

Ohhh, You Make me Smile

On By AngeliaIn Beautiful Life, In my heart forever & ever19 Comments

I heard this song on a blog one day. I wish I could link back to it, but I don’t remember whose or when, but I humbly thank you. It was the song’s video by Uncle Kracker. As soon as I heard it, I knew two things.

Without a doubt, this song was the one I wanted to play for my first dance at the wedding. For two, it was so perfect, it brought tears to my eyes.

What I didn’t know is the two weeks leading up to the wedding…with my friend, my wedding planner, and my new future mom….getting terribly ill; unable to breathe or eat on her own. Recovering from not just a brain aneurysm, but a stroke, pneumonia, and surgery.

I didn’t know that love fights, love stands up, and it rallies side-by-side in this family. It does not abandon that loved one, until they go home. Pride, honor, loyalty – fierce and strong. She is the mom (and dad most of their lives) of three sons. She is the wife and step-mom to her husband, step-son, and step-daughter. She loves, and gives to everyone, and in turn everyone loves and gives back to her.

She made a request to her step-son before her aneurysm to take photographs at the wedding. She especially wanted all her grandchildren in a photo. She is so proud of her family and she has every right to be. I always tell her, I am so lucky to be part of this family, and even from her hospital bed, she answered the same, “We are lucky to have you”.

That is the kind of person she is. Full of heart and pride, it overflows.

So, for one day, we gathered in her support. To don our wedding clothes and shine our love for family, as we grew larger joining two-together in joy, love, and laughter. Although she wasn’t there, it wouldn’t have been possible without her. I think her step-son did a great job with her request. I think when she sees this, she will smile.

I hope you smile with us too, as you view our special 10-10-10 day.

Recovery, Rehab, and Reminiscences

On By AngeliaIn Beautiful Life19 Comments

Jason is doing well. He has felt fine and is resting. We did not end up getting home until Thursday October 21st. I didn’t think I would live another night there, but I did.

I re-entered the work world. It felt like I had been in a time warp. Everything was different, but the same. I’m really glad it was on a Friday, so I can slowly sink back into it. I can tell you this, after the nurses and doctors “customer service”, I am a lot more conscious of the quality of work I do and HOW I do it, but most especially how I treat people. Not that I was bad before, it’s just from the smarting stings of arrogance and not-my-job syndrome, I have developed an extra sensitive layer of compassion and tact.

Coming home was a welcome sight for a teenage girl who loves her parents and missed them. And for three dogs that thought they’d been abandoned.

My sister and her husband cleaned our ENTIRE house when they visited for the weekend while Jason was in the hospital. What a treasure. I thought going out to eat was great, but this was such a relief and worth more than food or anything else. It was peace of mind and more restful than I can describe to you. My sister (and husband) are amazing. It was an incredible surprise.

My wedding bouquet sat on the counter in a crystal vase. The beautiful lilies still blooming.

Reminding me…I have SO much to tell you about the wedding. I suppose it will have to unfold like some of these late-blooming lilies. Slowly and beautifully, over time.

In other words, I will get there, I promise.

There are so many things, I just want back to normal. To blog again. To connect with other bloggers. To have more time to read blogs and participate in the going ons. BUT.

We still have a loved one in the hospital. For now, in ICU recovery. Her progress? Slow. And almost a reversal, due to the pain of her head, of the feeding tube inserted, of the injury to her bottom; you don’t want to know, but let me just say it’s like a diaper rash X 100 resulting in an open bleeding wound. Why? Because someone didn’t check a tube. No wonder she can’t sit up in a chair, could you? [hospitals!]

I visited her for the first time in over a week last night. I expected the worse. I expected a decline from the time before where she told me she loved me and held my hand at her bedside. She talked softly, but quite clearly telling me she was sorry about the wedding. It broke my heart in a million pieces.

I didn’t cry at, or before, or during the wedding. I refused. It was a happy day and I refuted any tears to come, but anything to do with her, and her pain. It tears me up. She is such a beautiful woman inside and out and deserves so much happiness and joy. Not pain and suffering.

When we got to her room, she was sleeping. I thought that would be it, but she woke up and proceeded to talk and talk and talk. About now, about the past, about the wedding, about her beautiful grandchildren. Most especially to advise us to love every day and tell those you love, you love them, every chance you get. It was about three hours of smiles, laughs, and tears. From her and us. I wish I could describe how her laugh made my soul leap to heaven and back. Her mind is so sharp. How miraculous is that? She endured a brain aneurysm and a stroke in the same weekend. Now, I know where her son gets it. I look forward to many more moments like these. She moves to the miracle floor Monday. Rehab. They say miracles happen there and I believe it will for her too. It already has.

I also got to dabble for a few moments in my second great love; practicing photography.

I only have time to post of few, but Sydney and her zebra umbrella is the coolest thing ever. I love this kid in all her hipness.

In Sickness

On By AngeliaIn Angels among Us, Beautiful Life, FAITH34 Comments

And in health.

I stumbled on that vow. I hesitated forming the words. I stood in that beautiful Church facing my handsome husband and I faltered……

What I wanted to say was in sickness and in sickness. I knew I was marrying a type 1 diabetic. I had experience with one in 2004, an uncle I loved dearly. I was also raised by a step-dad with polio. I knew sickness. I was raised with sickness. I embraced this man’s sickness because that is what I vowed to do. In health? Not so much. It was the sickness I pledged to stand by.

For richer or poorer, meh, I’ll take either.

Love and honor – absolutely.

Until death due us part – I wouldn’t miss a thing. Life is a gift. Scratch that. Life with him is a gift.

Today, I write this blog post from a hospital room.

My husband started feeling worse and worse a few days after the wedding. He hadn’t been feeling completely well for a while. He had gone to the urgent care center a week before the wedding and got diagnosed with bronchitis. They gave him an antibiotics shot, but he still hadn’t quite kicked it ten days later. When breathing laying down got difficult, and his face started swelling. He ventured back to the neighborhood clinic.

They took an x-ray of his lungs and compared it with ten days before, along with his blood work. The x-ray showed more fluid build-up on his lungs, and the blood work showed loss of blood – significantly. Enough that they recommended him going to the ER with their blessing. I couldn’t believe it when he called me.

What? Emergency room? Double pneumonia? Hemoglobin drop? WHAT?

I met him there and waited in the ER. What I expected was an IV of antibiotics and a possible over night stay. But that wasn’t to be. While there was fluid on his lungs, there was not a rise in white blood cells. Nor was he feverish, coughing, or showing signs of pneumonia. The ER doctor that came to admit him advised us, it was not pneumonia, but looked more like congestive heart failure.

Heart failure. *gulp*

My jaw dropped to the floor. My heart and stomach quickly followed.

*PLOP*

All splayed out in a pile of, “What the crap!”. Four days ago I said I DO, or I will, or actually I said vow by vow repeated after the minister in front of God, and 70 or so witnesses. I had no idea how fast those bonds would be put to the test.

I trust God. I do. There are so many blessings about this moment. We had canceled the honeymoon to Canada because of Jason’s mom. It was possible she would have a second surgery this week and we didn’t want to be out of the country when it happened. Come to find out, she did not, but she did get moved out of ICU. We got to talk to her the day before our ER visit. It was wonderful news. It was joyful tears to love on her awake and aware and I’m glad we didn’t miss it.

I am also glad we were not in Canada and unsure of the health care and procedures. I am glad we were not thousands of miles away from our friends and family. I am glad we were not on top of Whistler Mountain – far away from anywhere or anything. I am glad we were not zipping through time and space on an airplane high up in the sky. So many things….that could have been so much worse.

Instead, we take the hospital honeymoon trip. Complete with an HD TV.

Three delicious meals a day by room service (for him anyway). Daily social visits by doctors, nurses, and respiratory therapists. Tons of time together. No kids or dogs. I can even get coffee most hours of the day in the waiting room concierge lounge. It’s all-inclusive folks. Stop being so jealous.

And hey, it’s like camping…..

We are on day three here. All we know for sure is that his heart is not damaged. He does have an enlarged left ventricle, but that is not completely uncommon for a diabetic man with high blood pressure. They were able to relieve him of five LITERS of fluid, so he can breathe easier although there is still fluid on and in his lungs.

We have a test on Monday to check for artery blockage and to fix them if he has any through a heart cath. If it’s not that, it could be a number of things they are hoping to eliminate with tests. Nothing is determined, and not much has been ruled out. It could be congestive heart failure, or it could be a mean virus that caused cardiac issues.

No matter what it is. No matter what our future holds with his health. I will be here.

In sickness, and in sickness……because that is what I pledged to do six days ago.