Or like the dead, your choice. Me, myself, and I, sleep in sweet peace AND like the dead. True story.

I’ve known about my – shall we call it? – sleeping ability. Yeah, that’s it, for a while now. Notice I did not call it a disability. To me it’s not. I go to sleep. I sleep like the dead. I wake up, go to work, or whatever. No insomnia, never had it. No slight noise jerking me awake at o’dark thirty.

Sweet sleep. Most times. Unless, I have nightmares. I have a standard recurring one. I watched Red Dawn so many times, that I have a dream where aliens encounter like the Russians. Their ships descend, and they rappel down on the terrified people.

It gets a little weird after that, because the safe ground we run to is a cemetery. The cemetery residents come alive, crawling from their graves sites, and pushing up more than daisies. Well then, NO where is safe. I guess that’s the moral of the dream. That, and don’t let your children watch Red Dawn, Night of the Living Dead, American Werewolf in London, or Alien movies at a young tender age. Mkay?

All that, and not to mention as a little girl, I would wake up at night convinced there were demons in the room with me (shudder). The only way I could go back to sleep was to sing the ONLY Christian song I knew (we didn’t go to Church), which was from choir, called My Lord. So you can see why I don’t wake up at night. I just don’t. I sleep. I learned at young tortured age -thanks mom and dad – to JUST sleep. No matter what, SLEEP.

As an adult, this is really awesome. I hear about so many people, (via Facebook) that have all these sleeping problems. Not so for me, I lay my head down and I am out. BLISS, pure bliss. Nothing can wake me up. In fact, I used to set three alarms in different parts of the room. Now, thank goodness, I only need one and it’s set to crickets. I assume crickets wake me up because it’s not the freeway sounds I’m used to.

The freeway is right out the back door. I don’t mean it’s out the back door, down the hill, through the meadow, and THEN there is the pesky, noisy highway. No. I mean out the back door, ten steps to the fence, over the fence is the access road, and RIGHT next to the access road, separated by an illegal exit from a traffic jam a grassy embankment, is the FREEWAY. The noisy truck roaring, trailers banging, tire wheel crunching freeway. It bothers me not a bit, because? I sleep dead sweet.

So get this, I wake up two nights ago, yeah I know, I actually do arouse (in my defense the window was wide open). I hear sirens, somewhere around 4am. They started off way in the distance and get louder, and louder, and louder – then rrrruppppt. They stop. Like right outside behind my place. Then I hear another siren, rrreeeow, rrreeeeow – closer and closer – errrooowwww, rruupppppt!

My thought was, ohmygosh, they are right outside! I should get up, go look, and see what is going on. I promptly fell back asleep. THEN, I wake up again (barely) my puppy is in her crate, shaking it. It’s LOUD in the room. Salem barks, and puppy Anna is making this sad little noise between a bark, a yelp, and whine. Merufferrrffft. Merufferrffft. It was the oddest thing I have ever heard. Of course I tell her to shut up, so I can go back to sleep – which I do. I’m convinced it was self-induced because – I’m just sayin’ – demons could have been around, YIKES.

Next day, I see my roommate John, my niece’s boyfriend, all excited he is like, “Hey, did you hear that last night?”

Suddenly I perk up, because I realize, I did hear something and it wasn’t just the sirens was it? (or demons?) I tell him about the sirens. He says, “Yeah, I heard them too. I could see emergency lights flashing through our window. I get up to go see, when it sounds like a PLANE is landing on top of the house.”

I’m like, “NO WAY!!!”. It hits me how Anna was shaking, and scared out of her mind, SHE wasn’t shaking the crate, what was passing over us was shaking the crate, and the whole house. I CAN’T BELIEVE I SLEPT THROUGH THAT.

John told me how freaked out he was – it was sooo loud – all the walls were vibrating. He went outside. Sure enough, several emergency vehicles, and a helicopter – ON THE FREEWAY. He checked the paper the next day but couldn’t find out what happened (obviously an accident).

But I know what really happened. I slept through a friggin’ helicopter practically landing on our roof. WOW.

Most of you know Jason is diabetic, type 1, takes the shots. AND it is possible (and has happened) that he could go low in his blood sugar (need insulin), have seizures in his sleep, and go into a coma. Yeah, a coma. Unless, say his wife (this happened too) wakes up, calls an ambulance, and saves his life.

So imagine, his reaction upon hearing this story, “What happens if we get married, and I go into a coma? Who is going to wake up, and call the ambulance?”

For once, my special sleeping ability IS a disability. FAIL. However, my only answer, because obviously – my track record is very bad – I have FAITH. I have faith, that I would wake up, or Salem would wake me up. I have to believe I would know. Just know, supernaturally.

If a ghost can use an alarm to wake me up, ha, I just got why it used an alarm, since that is the ONLY thing that would wake me up. Then by gosh, I can be woken up. I would sense danger…. I just know it. I believe that. I trust God. (let’s not even mention NOW with him living ALONE, what happens NOW? Same thing FAITH)

So, Jason, don’t worry my friend. Sleep sweet, if the times comes, I won’t let you down. (but if we get married, we should totally get another dog just in case) I’m really proud of myself, how I obscurely threw that in.

P.S. Sydney slept through it too. Yeah, if a tornado comes, we’re doomed.