NyQuil, Please! I can explain!

First off, your kindness overwhelms me. Your desire to serve, please, and honor me when night falls…well, that’s just dear, and meaningful. I think…..I love you. Oh! I hope we don’t get all uncomfortable now. I really need you. And I hate being needy and clingy. PLEASE! Stay with me (just for tonight).

I promise to uphold my end of the deal.

When I see this face – I swear – no matter how cute, I will not cuddle with her when she has a cold. I won’t sit close enough for her fingers to reach my mouth, nor her wet coughs to spray on me.

Come on, Ny! It’s hard to resist. I am giving up a lot for you. This relationship means something to me. Something really special or I wouldn’t even bother.

I swear, even when her nose is running, temperature spiking, and cough hacking. I will resist the urge to hug her close and get her germs. I won’t have those pudgy arms around my neck. I won’t pick her up at her pleading request. I won’t.

Especially after she runs a fever off and on all weekend. Feeling puny, and even throwing up. I won’t kiss her. Laws no! I won’t. Because I know that would make me sick, and compromise our relationship. Seriously? That cuteness. No power. I am mighty.

But maybe that’s what you want. Maybe, that’s how you keep me near you. I am so confused. Could you be trying to keep us together, when I really need to go my own way?

Just please NyQuil do your thing. So I can go to work tomorrow, instead of sitting here like this.

Love me,
Your faithful friend, the head cold.

P.S. Please don’t be jealous of macho Mucinex D tomorrow. It’s strictly a fling! I’m totally using him.