Let me tell you about a miracle named Sydney Elizabeth. This tiny miracle occurred August 1993…………………………………
Ah! But not so fast. See I had to get married first. I married Sydney’s Dad October of 1992. I was 21 & he was 24 and he was my best friend in the whole world. Not to mention he made me laugh all the time(still does). Sonny couldn’t have been a better Dad for her.
We were very young but wanted to start a family right away. My older sister already had two children. My older brother had two children as well. It seemed natural to go ahead & try since we loved each other & wanted a child from that union. Our families supported us 100%. So finding out I was pregnant for the 1st time we were ecstatic!!! Best of all my sister was pregnant too!!! It was amazing! We were 8yrs apart & never imagined we would have children the same age. My due date was in September. A WHOLE SUMMER pregnant in Texas!!! Woo!! HA! But that was OK I was fine with that. I couldn’t WAIT to hold my angel in my arms. We had so many plans that formed in our heads so quickly. My sister & I lugging our babies around & having play dates. Sonny buying baseball gloves & bats to play ball with his boy. The FIRST grandchild his mother would have. The first GREAT grandchild for his grandmother. I can still remember every moment we planned. Every moment we anticipated with that little baby. Every second we dreamed of what it would look like, smell like, feel like. I can remember distinctly the glow inside of knowing I was going to have a BABY. My first baby! It was spectacular & unique & I would NEVER feel that way again. It wasn’t long before our dreams crashed down around us. This baby did not turn out how we hoped.
My pregnancy quickly went from the most wonderful time of my life to one of the worst nightmares of my life. I did not have a normal healthy pregnancy. I had a tubal pregnancy which means the baby travelled through the fallopian tubes to get to the uterus and got stuck (or stopped for whatever reason)and decided to grow there. It wasn’t in the right place & would quickly die from not getting the nourishment it needed. Worst than that it was not something that could be surgically moved & put in the right place. EVEN worse than that it put my life in great danger because the tube could burst & rupture inside and I could die too(tubal pregnancies are the #2 killer of pregnancy deaths). This was a very serious situation. The seriousness & the devastation seemed to battle inside me. I wanted NOT to die but I didn’t want to lose my baby either. And back and forth I would go between fearful & heartbroken. Fearful & heartbroken. Over & over until the doctor chose to do surgery & remove the pregnancy from my fallopian tube where it was lodged.
This meant I would go under anesthesia & be operated on. I would have a laproscope through my belly button & another incision by my bikini line. It was even possible that I would lose one of my fallopian tubes if he could not surgically remove the pregnancy without damaging it. If he had to he would remove the tube completely. So my fertility chances would drop in half and I was only 21yrs old.
I’ll not go into blow by blow here about the surgery & recovery. All I can say is that it was just as painful physically as it was emotionally. Me, my husband, my parents & siblings & his family GRIEVED for this loss. It was so devastating it seemed so unfair. I never thought I would stop crying over the loss of my baby. I truly felt like I was living in a never ending nightmare. They had saved my tube but the risk was even higher of having ANOTHER tubal on the next pregnancy. I never thought I could be brave enough to try again. All I could think of was I’ll hold my baby in heaven & that was the ONLY thing that got me through it.
Living, Loving, Laughing.... 