I Shoudn’t be Alive: The Narcissistic Praying Mantis

She lives for the mirror. Her quest is to find one at any cost. When she sees one, she can’t resist – HERself. She primps and shines in all her glory. That is how we came to meet our new car totem, affectionately known as “Little M”.

What can I say? She’s a good-looking gal and she knows it. What she doesn’t know….. Her mirror will become a hellish stargate transporting her to a new destination out of her realm. Hopefully, a more abundant place. Certainly closer to more parks (and more prey? or mirrors?). That is, if she can survive the ride. An intensely horrific journey taking her to the edge of her bugmanity. Forty-five mile per hour gale-force winds. Jarring bumps – stops and starts – masses of passing metal vortex carriers streaking by. She has the option of jumping off, ensuring certain unpleasant death by windshield, or maybe just some severe road burn (if she is lucky).

We watch our new pet and pray (heh) she manages to forgo the splat. Her tail quivers, her legs strain, and she draws gasps as she changes positions to the top of the mirror.

*Warning, this video may contain disturbing images.*

But she hangs on, willing self-to-self through the glass to go the distance – a terror-filled, limb clinging six miles. And she does it.

Amazingly, her ride ends with her eyes and feelers intact. She shouldn’t be alive, but she is.

Welcome home Little M, welcome home.

On a side note, there is a lot of superstition about the praying mantis. Some believe seeing a praying mantis is a sign of good fortune. In Africa, this creature is worshiped as a God. The praying mantis – preys on other insects and therefore considered a good pest and also where the name preying mantis comes from. It’s not just what the mantis does either, it’s their prayer-like stance that seems to contradict their cannibalism (or maybe they are just thankful for their food).

Other symbols used to describe attributes of the mantis – stillness, awareness, creativity, patience, mindfulness, calmness, balance, and intuition. Maybe she was a “sign” to stay calm and focused in the last 30 days before the wedding. Maybe, she was just along for the ride. Maybe, she was in the wrong place at the wrong time. Or maybe…..she is truly a story of survival.

No matter what you believe, they are interesting creatures to say the least. I am continually amazed by God’s incredible wonders, great and small. And? I am just happy she will do the dirty work of munching on some unwanted pests. Thanks for the escort M! Enjoy the new digs.

Who had the right of way?

My side of the story

Cycling along to another BEAUTIFUL sunset, with pinks and oranges radiating through the clouds, I am towards the end of my lovely bike ride. I only have one more curve, under a bridge, then to cross the street, and be at Jason’s house (where my bike lives). My heart is full of gladness. I have, again, enjoyed the sights and sounds. My legs feel weak from the power of the ride, as they should, since I demanded their physical strength the last hour.

All is right with the world. I have pizza waiting for me, courtesy of MIB (Most Incredible Boyfriend), who I will just get to see, for about five minutes, before he begins a webX project review with his classmates. The Cowboys are playing, which is good, I can take or leave football. I KNOW! I am a bad girlfriend. I like football. I just don’t live for football.

I call this time of night -Bug Rally. Truth is, sometimes I make it to the rally, and sometimes I miss it. Either way, if I DO hit the bug rally, I just duck and come out OK on the other side (scouring later ugh). A few, down the hatch, won’t kill me or anything. No harm no, no foul, heck if I was a bug? I’d rally. It’s been raining for five, six? umpteen days in a row. They are happy. I am happy. Maybe not blue skies, but it’s NOT raining. YAY!

So, the question is WHO had the right away? I was on the PATH. I was on the RIGHT side. I was in my place. He came out of no where! Flying faster than the speed limit, mind you, and he did not YIELD. He just smacked into my eyeball like a kamikaze jet fighter.

I was blinded for a good 30 seconds. I debated ripping my contact out and tossing it on the ground (they are disposable), but I am BLIND, like really, really blind without them. I had a very busy street to cross. I haven’t been riding my bike too long. I, still, almost fall on sharp turns. Being one-eyed, I would definitely have problems.

So I sucked it up, blinking furiously, and trying not to gag. *a bug flew in my eye ball* I saw him coming towards me. I didn’t have time to react. He was no bigger than a spec, a green spec at that. * why didn’t I just shut my eye? *geez, did my eyes widen in surprise at seeing him flying towards me? actually causing the collision? *ahhhh*

I make it back to MIB’s. Tired, thirsty, and bug zapped. He is waiting for me at the door, with a towel and cold bottle of water. *see where I get his nickname*

I tell him about the mean, green flying bug machine. My eye feels like it still has some legs in it. I am hoping during the night, whatever it is, works its way out.

No such luck, the next morning, I awake to find my eye red and angry. I end up having to go to the eye doctor, who says, I have an infection because, bugs don’t wash their hands, and if they tag you in the eye at high velocity speeds, it causes some damage.

Now, you can see how it wasn’t my fault at all. I had the right of way, and that bug crossed the line.

The bug’s side of the story

Look here, this is MY land, my space, my universe. I LIVE here. Not some fancy giant, not paying attention, weaving and bobbing, on a metal wheel cart like someone was chasing her (and no one was!).

I’m all about your space, my space, but the zone, MAN, when you get in the zone it’s all about me. Dusk is MY TIME you are risking your body parts, invading our time, everyone knows that.

So, after the rally, I am living the high life. Up, down, in and out, flowers, trees, grass, and a dare bomb to the brink of a puddle then up and away. I got skills! No one can touch my super sonic speed. Other bugs DREAM of my power.

I am showing my bug stuff. A super hero of bugland. One of the greats of the season. I spiral, diagonally, through the meadow, over a sunflower, and onto a sidewalk. I AM THE OMEGA. &*(#/%

***************”OW!”**************”MY EYE!”********

ME: You hurt my eye.

BUG: You broke my nose.

ME: You were going the wrong way!

BUG: I’m a bug!

Disclaimer:The bug’s side- based on a true story but possibly not true.