There was never any doubt

When I looked into your eyes for the first time……I saw a twinkle of merriment, a spark of surprise, and a life-time of safe keeping……There was never any doubt.

When I took your hand through the unmoving crowd during our first date……I knew we wouldn’t be separated…..I knew I could trust you wouldn’t let me get crushed……I held tightly to your hand……still do……There was never any doubt.

When I stepped into your arms for our first hug……I felt a blanket of protection……my heart surged with relief… life raft, tattered by so many storms, found its safe harbor……I let go of my fears……There was never any doubt.

When I kissed you for the first time……the world stopped……except for the hammering of my heart……I was surprised……I guess playing the Tuba in high school really does come in handy……There was never any doubt.

When you told me you loved me……the room didn’t spin……I didn’t head for the hills in a dead run……I sighed and nestled deeper into your arms……knowing this was a miracle……There was never any doubt.

When you held me up……and let my tears fall on your shoulder……as you helplessly watched me grieve over the casket of my father……There was never any doubt.

When the sadness of this loss struck my heart, deeper than I ever imagined……you did not turn away……you became my shield……you softened the blow……There was never any doubt.

When you saw my heart in pieces at his graveside……you carefully placed them in your pocket……silently mending them with your patience, your understanding, and your deep compassion……There was never any doubt.

When you were there for me in my time of greatest need……it meant everything to me……how could you have known I would lose my father in the first three months of dating……how could you have known you would have to hold me up so soon……you were the only thing that kept me from falling……You are, and will always be, my life-line……There was never any doubt.

When I watched two dark-haired little girls curl up into your lap……you held them gently……you hugged them tenderly……softly you kissed their silky hair……I knew your children were a treasure more precious than all the gifts of the world……There was never any doubt.

When you cracked open a Blue Nile box with the most beautiful engagement ring inside……you said the words……over the squeals of happy children……over the barks of two big dogs……over the cost of a future teen step-daughter……I said yes with no hesitation……There was never any doubt.

When I held your hand…….as your mom lay in ICU……not knowing what her future was……so close to the day of our future……I witnessed the most devastating days of your life……I prayed beside you and with you……There was never any doubt.

When I looked into your crystal blue eyes on our wedding day……and saw all the joy I could ever know…….all the love I could ever receive…..all the days I could ever wish for……There was never any doubt.

When hardships strike with their cruelty……when life shakes our foundation……when the world seems a dark and scary place……I always find the warm light of your precious heart of peace……and……There is never any doubt.

Happy Anniversary to the one who “gets” me.

I love you more than these words can say.


Wordless Wednesday: Anniversary Night

An anniversary is a time to celebrate the joys of today, the memories of yesterday, and the hopes of tomorrow. ~Author Unknown

We had a champagne toast with champagne left over from our reception and our year-old cake topper – which actually tasted VERY good.

He brought me roses, a card, and delicious chocolate covered strawberries.

We had a wonderful anniversary and I am more blessed than ever.

The Anniversary of Triple Tens

One year ago, I married the most amazing man in the world.

I remember how excited I was. It surprised me. I was convinced I’d be a bundle of nerves, or a crying hot mess (tears of joy, but sooo not pretty!).

Instead, I walked to that doorway and I was happy, no, thrilled. The day was finally here. And we fought hard for it. We made it happen despite many unpredictable heartbreaks.

My future mom lay in ICU.

My mother was MIA somewhere in the city of Dallas.

But despite it all, I looked at my four beautiful flower girls, and one handsome ring bearer, and I knew, I would never have this moment again.

My daughter, me, my childhood friend, & my sister

I think my sister was more nervous than me. Her eyes were full of tears and I wanted to smack her with my bouquet and say, “Do NOT make me cry!”

I laughed instead.

And then I walked down the aisle. I did not stumble on my dress. I did not fall, or slip. I didn’t walk too fast, or too slow. I looked straight ahead at the man I was to marry. And he looked sooooo good.

Our wedding ceremony began at about 3:10 (for the three ten’s).

I spoke my vows to him in front of God, our family, and our wonderful guests in the beautiful St. Matthews United Methodist Church.

It was more incredible than I could have imagined.

Then, we played Westside Music Ministry’s – Have a Little Faith in Me – as we poured three tubes of sand into one heart-shaped vase. Pink for the three girls, peach for Jason, and beige for me. We mixed them together symbolizing our new blended family. No matter what, these sands can never be separated. And knowing the difficult future we face, we vowed to have faith, no matter what. Faith in our life together.

In a blink, the ceremony was over and we were man and wife.

Then we played,It Takes Two, an 80’s hit, (also played on The Proposal movie) and did our cool exit.

We purposely did something fun to celebrate this last part of the wedding. I don’t think anyone will forget it, at least I won’t.

Our new family.

Our gorgeous wedding.

Our amazing family and friends.

And the most angelic girls in the world.

Our perfect 10 wedding.

A day I will remember forever.

We had a quite a first year.

These precious moments helped us through them.



And marriage.

Now….it’s one year later.

Happy Anniversary Sweetheart!

Special thanks to Bella Lucia Photography for traveling from Oregon to Texas to photograph our wedding.

I’m a Creeeeep…I’m a Weeeeirdo…

What the heck am I doing here?
I don’t belong here.


I typed out these lyrics to Creep in a Facebook message. Little did I know, they would dramatically change my life. It was, in all honesty, the only Radiohead song I knew.

I saw an update status asking if anyone would be interested in Radiohead concert tickets on Sunday. Well I really wasn’t, unless I could get my brother to come down from Oklahoma, but being it was a Sunday night that wasn’t likely to happen. The bigger question to me and the one that I asked to my casually acquainted Facebook friend……why aren’t you going?

He admitted to not having a date, going through a hurtful divorce, and the regular woes of life that we all get so caught up in that we forget to – well – have fun.

Then I wowed him with my lyrical knowledge. “I’m a creeeep! I’m a weeeeirdooooo!” Never mind I wasn’t singing but typing. I’m that good.

He was so impressed that he found a fellow Radiohead fan in all of Facebook-land that he offered to take me to the concert, so we could crone as one.

I did what any single girl would do trying to become a crazy fan in 48 hours or less to impress a guy. I YouTube searched a few more songs. Surely I knew more than one Radiohead song. Right???

I found Karma Police. Yeah. I think I heard one of the contestants sing that on Rockstar INXS. Cool! I watched the video. See I was a Radiohead fan after all. No problem. I got this.

We made plans to meet at his house at 6pm to head from Arlington to Dallas. I talked to him for the first time on the phone the day before to set it up. I, incredibly, got there at 6pm sharp. For those that know me that was a miracle in itself.

As I pulled up, the garage door opened and there stood my date – that wasn’t a date – but just a kind gesture of servitude to another concert going Radiohead fan (heh).

Our eyes met in smiles right away, he was MUCH better looking in person than in his picture and what surprised me most of all…he was TALL. 6ft 1in. If only Facebook gave profile stats, I could have known. I wore my high heel sandals thinking he was short. I know. Don’t try to compute the logic, I had guy issues. Ahem. I’m a creeeeppp.

Off we head to Dallas, listening to Radiohead in the car, except I didn’t know it was Radiohead since I only knew ONE song. Maybe two if my YouTube memory held out. I actually figured it out AFTER the concert when I truly was a new turned fan.

Didn’t matter anyhow, we talked the whole way – about – everything. If there is one thing my momma taught me it was how to have a conversation, with anyone, anywhere, anytime. Thanks mom! I’ll chat with you later when I have a few hours *wink*.

It was a good thing too. It took hours just to get INTO the concert. Never have I seen so many people going to a concert at, or better known as the Smirnoff, or more simply Fairpark, in all my life.

The park was packed. Our seats were just under the awning – which was GREAT – considering the entire lawn behind us had seating that was really far back and ALL of it was standing room only. The concert started right after we sat down and it took my breath away. Literally, or Lyrically. I guess both.

And really I can’t describe it, but those things hanging down..they changed colors. They glowed. They flashed. They did everything but walk off the stage, or maybe they did that too. It was all in tune to the beat, and the motion of the music, which was poetry in itself. Incredibly awesome, like nothing I have ever seen.

These images are from a google search. Our view was more like this.

But honestly? It didn’t matter where we sat. It was the greatest, most energetic, dramatic, artfully choreographed media concert show I have ever seen and, trust me, I’m no concert virgin. There was a time I thought I was watching a video being played on a big screen, when in fact it was in live time with the stage. It was that good.

I felt SAD when it ended. When our night ended. I felt like we went through something special together and a friendship bond formed. Was it love at first sight? Not at all. I was pleasantly surprised by him. Blown away by the concert, and really enjoyed our long car conversations. *It took three hours to get OUT of the concert*

Jason, my friend, my boyfriend, my husband – Happy THREE year anniversary of our meet date. I can humbly say, May 18, 2008, a Radiohead concert, truly changed my world by bringing you into it.

You know the funniest twist to it all? They didn’t even play Creep.

I’m a creep.
I’m a weirdo.
What the heck am I doing here?
I don’t belong here.

*I rarely re-post, but this is in honor of another year.*

Happy last first date to my sweetie! Now, when is Radiohead coming back in concert?