Well, I’ve gone and done it now haven’t I?

Does this look like a hospital bracelet? Why YES! Yes it is, and see that’s my keyboard. I’m actually at work. I ESCAPED, Mwahahahahah!

Well, truth of it is, I was at the hospital this morning bright and early (730am). I got to register, and find out how much my Christmas present to myself was going to be. It is way, way, way too much. Basically, I get a diagnosis, and a treatment. Which in the end will make me feel better, right? You can’t beat a present like that. A radiology test. I’m just too good to myself. Thanks self!

Allow me to explain, a week ago when I found out about my dad. I had an appointment at the endocrinologist where I found out I have hyperthyroidism. See my foodie-ism has a name after all.  Along with my hot flashes, rashes, moods swings, appetite and heart pounding stress. It was not just my age (aka getting old). It was actually a thyroid going berserk (phew!).

The Doctor scheduled a radioactive iodine image test to determine which thyroid ailment I have. Apparently, the dye goes through the thyroid and leaves it’s tell-tale signature (so I hope). They read it, then the doc can treat it. But first, I have to SWALLOW radioactive iodine (ahhhh!).

Yeah. That’s a little scary. The instructions were no food or drink after midnight (I had a TINY sip of water at 1205am-Sorry!).  They did NOT say no Mexican food, nor one lil ol’ margarita for dinner (gee, I hope I don’t mess this up). Then, come in at o dark thirty (NO COFFEE) to the hospital. So I do so, begrudgedly.

And I get pulled over by the hospital police.  Yeppers, I did. I am very sorry officer. I was just looking for where to park and didn’t really notice the people trying to cross at the crosswalk. I mean, obviously, I stopped at the stop sign cross walks, but not the other four in between (that’s a lot of cross walks). Ooops. Thank you for taking pity on me. It was very sweet of you to think I was a new hire. 

I get inside and  fill out a mountain of paperwork. This is the same hospital I had my daughter in. They still had my records (15yrs ago!). Then, they send me to the basement (never a good thing), where they take me to a room (padded cell). They ask me a zillion times if I’m pregnant or could be pregnant.

I answered a ZILLION times, NO, not possible. I have no fallopian tubes. But I am glad they are thorough. Can you imagine if that happened to someone? (shudder) The nurse explains everything about the procedure. Then, she asked the other zillion dollar question. Have I had ANY fish or shellfish in the last seven days. I have not, and I really missed my Sushi night (pout).

The nurse gingerly holds a tube (lead encased-I’m sure) with gloves on. She ever so lightly taps a pill into a medicine cup. I am having the hardest time not squirming away. The pill was ORANGE (aahhhh!). She tells me to throw it back in my throat and swallow. DO NOT TOUCH THE PILL (whimper). Like a Champ,  I toss that sucker back, and OH YES IT DID GET STUCK, right on the back of my tongue. I take a drink, STILL STUCK, then it moves to the roof of my mouth, and FINALLY down the hatch.

Crap! How is it supposed to go down your throat when your mouth is like sandpaper after no food or drink? I just radioactivated my brain and my teeth. Wonderful. The second pill went down much easier, thank goodness.

Then I waited to start glowing or something. Seriously, my vision is a little hazy (that could be the 4 hours sleep). For today and tonight, I am not allowed any dairy products, fish, nor can foods. I am supposed to eat “fresh”.  For me, that’s worse than eating nuclear pills.  A veggie fresh diet? Well, maybe it will start something good. I go back tomorrow and they will do images of my neck. Weee!

As for blogging, I am trying to get back in the swing of things, after a week away. Sydney leaves for Mississippi on December 19 until January 4. Our Christmas with Jason, the girls, and Kyle is December 18. FOUR days! I have four days to shop and that’s all. We know what gifts we are getting her. It’s just getting it. Yeah, that.

It’s also Jason’s birthday month. He is a New Year’s Eve baby. Isn’t that the sweetest? I decided to gift him a present every day for his birthday month. They are not big presents, but I attach a little note to each one, to let him know how special he is. It’s not easy to have a gift EVERY day. I really am putting thought into them (well…some are thoughts of HIM sharing, HEH). His birthday is so close to Christmas that I concluded- what better way to make it special and unique – at least I’m trying to. I think I have up to day #18 packaged. I have another weeks worth ready to be wrapped. It has been soooo fun. I have loved doing this.

I have some wonderful blog posts in the drafts that I haven’t had time to write.  Another timeless one, a bloggy bling parade, and a gift of Christmas that will touch your heart. As well as, a few pictures from our outing to Bethlehem Revisited on Saturday night with the kids.  As soon as all the hospital visits, shopping,  and gifting slow down, I will happily get them done. 

 In the meantime, don’t turn down your screen. It’s just me pulsating with my radioactive self.