Tag: blended families

A Letter to the Mother of my Step Children

On By AngeliaIn In the lives of children358 Comments

I know I am not the perfect step-in parent for your children. I make mistakes. I misjudge. I get frustrated, confused, and conflicted. It’s a tight wire balance of being too close and being too far.

I don’t want to overstep my boundaries. And yet, I sometimes lose track of the rule book. I don’t always know what to expect. And even when I think I do, I realize how far-off the beaten path I really am. I manage the best I can for them. Not necessarily as another parent, but someone who loves being in their life. Someone who cares for them, because I care for their Dad. But, I fail. I try. I fail. Then I brush myself off and hope you can forgive me.

From the first moment I met them, I wanted them to know I could never replace you, nor would I want to, or seek to. I have always felt that way.

I remember seeing a plump two-year old baby about six years ago. I wanted to scoop her into my arms and gobble up those chub chub cheeks of hers. Instead, I waited and watched, until she felt comfortable with me. It took more than a year.

At the same time, I met a precocious, wiser-than-her-years four-year-old, spitting spunk and sass. I wanted to take her hand and run off into the land of make-believe. Instead, I told her how mommy is magical and I would never have that magic, because her mommy is very special like that.

I want to guide them as much as I can without making waves or being a disciplinary figure. On the same note, I want to keep them safe. I want to protect them from the big scary world. I have the heart of a mother, but the mind of step mom. I want their dreams to come true. I want their success and happiness to follow them wherever they go.

And yet…

I am only a small part of their world. You are their caretaker, guide, and example. You are their lifeline, their planner, and the one who tucks them in. Your soul is part of those two little bodies. Even when it is not your weekend, you are very much part of their every second with us.

And because you are so much part of them? Two little people I adore… I adore you just as much. I appreciate you more than you know. I can’t imagine life without you, your ex, and those precious little people I get to hug and worry over.

So please know, although I mess up and forget to remind my husband of holidays, birthdays, and presents. Although, I don’t always reach out, in an effort to keep in, just know I hold your family dear to my heart. I am always here. Trying my best and admiring the hell out of you.

Thank-you for our two little stars who I get to watch grow into lovely young ladies. Thank-you for sacrificing so many things to give these kids a life with both parents taking part. And thank-you for your kindness in letting me be a small piece of their great big world.

This year I did not let Mother’s Day slip by unattended. I planned and I hope you love it as much as I love your two children. This is for you. I thought a vintage pearl might last longer than flowers or chocolate.

Happy Mother’s Day!

Drawing for Dad by the youngest daughter. I love how she didn't quite get us holding hands. So, she made a ring that connects us.
Drawing for Dad by the youngest daughter. I love how she didn’t quite get us holding hands. To make up for that she puts a circle between our hands to connect us, too. From the mind of a beautiful seven-year-old who wants her family holding hands. So sweet.

The Square Root of Father’s Day

On By AngeliaIn Beautiful Life, In the lives of children, Into the Blender we go- Wee!11 Comments

Father’s Day.

I have such a hard time with this one. It’s a mathematical puzzle, I can’t solve or calculate.

On one hand, it’s the day I think of my dad’s more than any other. It’s a day I smile and remember (precious memories)……. and it’s the day I miss them terribly.

It’s the week when I see a picture of a bride dancing with her father at her wedding and it makes me cry inconsolably.

I wish for many moments with them. I wish for them to know my step-daughters. I wish for that last hug, and last good-bye – just one more conversation, one more Christmas, one more birthday, one more Father’s Day.

It’s Father’s Day and mine are in heaven and if yours aren’t, I hope you squeeze them real tight.

And yet………

I have a wonderful husband in my life who is one of the BEST dads in the world. Not only to his two little girls, but to my daughter as well. He married me and got a full-time teenager. What in the world was he thinking?

Out of all the horror stories of marriages with teens, and he didn’t run away. He took on the challenge. For that alone, he should be celebrated as the hero he is. But it’s more than that, he loves her like his own too.

Accepting another person’s child as your own is the hardest thing to do in a blended family. For that I am so grateful…..

It truly makes life a blessing and it makes Father’s Day a whole lot easier for me.

My daughter is very lucky to have you. She is lucky to have her dad in the picture as well. Sydney gets what I had growing up – two WONDERFUL Dads. A gift more precious than gold.

So Jason, I picked some photographs out of the archives. Ones that I think celebrate the loving and caring Dad you are. Ones I hope show how much I love the father you are to these children.

The impact you have on these lives will last a life-time. I hope you know how much you mean to them by just being you and holding tight. I am so proud of you.

As a daughter, I can say, there is nothing more soul-filling than a Father’s love. Thank-you for gifting your love to our daughters.


Dad, step-dad, great husband, and one of the nicest guys I know.


Always a helper and support, you lend a hand to not only your daughters, but to anyone else that needs it.


Your accomplishments are always made sweeter by the joy that is shared by your family.


Despite a bitter divorce, you insisted on having a picture of the girl’s mom in their room at your house.


You are never afraid to be silly.


You uphold your dad duties of caring for your children and have never passed off that responsibility. From dinner, to bath, to bed-time book reading you do it all and cherish every moment.


Not many fathers are as proud as you are of your three beautiful daughters.


Not many step-fathers are such important mentors in their teen daughter’s life.


Not many Dads display such fine artwork on their refrigerator.


You are truly our knight-in-shining armor.


We are so blessed to have you.

Happy Father’s Day with love!

Love, Text, and an iPhone

On By AngeliaIn In the lives of children, Into the Blender we go- Wee!19 Comments

We discovered on long car rides the best antidote for entertainment is not to install an expensive dual headrest TV/DVD players for the children, but to simply surrender hand-over our iPhones.

It works wonders to keep the peace. There is music, games, and a camera. A gazillion options of fun. There is no fighting in the back seat and the only worry is how many car chargers do we have if those suckers run out of juice.

On this particular road excursion, last November, the car ride home took four hours and could best be described as – most blissful car trip EVER!

iPhone!

Then something crazy cool happened…….

My oldest step-daughter (age six at the time) taught herself how to text. The little booger was reading at age four. Spelling at age three. It wasn’t too surprising that she easily figured out the icon, the key pad, and the art of texting. Mostly because of her older step-sister sitting next to her who can text a billion messages a minute and holster the phone in her back pocket without blinking an eye.

I must admit, when I first read the text, I was confused. Why would Jason text me while driving? More importantly, why would he text me while driving and while I was sitting next to him? The message was from Jason. Then, I remembered who had his phone. I took a peek at the backseat and heard a giggle. That’s when I figured it out and replied back.

Our conversation went like this.

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With each reply, the giggles increased, and dang if she wasn’t pretty fast at texting too.

I was completely enamored. They are the sweetest messages!

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As sweet as a bowl of chocolate Cheerios in a heart-shaped bowl. My little text buddy.

These precious little pearls of devotion are what will get me through those days (like Mondays) and step-daughter teen years. I latch onto these nuggets – knowing the future is shaky in blended families – and cherishing the good times. Someday – I might hear those knife-through-the-heart phrases; You’re not my mom! I don’t have to do what you say! I don’t love you!

I will read this.

I will remember.

I will save it forever.

A picture of love via iPhone.

She told me this Sunday (which I heard was un-officially Step-Mom’s Day?) that if it was or wasn’t….she would do anything for me. Really? Anything???? Anything.

I just couldn’t bring myself to do it. Way too tempting! Foot massages, cleaning, and laundry. Oh the possibilities!

This girl has the purest of intentions when it comes to sharing her adorations. She is such a treasure.

The funniest (and scariest) thing about the text messages that night? Well, Jason and I got to wondering……..if she was smart enough to text me…….. Was she smart enough to text anyone else? And if she did? Who?

Yeah.

About that.

She DID text someone else.

Her Mom.

Jason’s ex-wife.

Thankfully, the message wasn’t near as descriptive as mine, because HONESTLY? What would she have possibly thought getting a text message from her now married ex-husband chock full of affection for her? I can only imagine. Ummm, yikes!

When we read the text Molly sent to her, it wasn’t near as bad as we thought. Instead of being downright awkward, it only bordered sheer creepiness.

The text read: Goodnight.

Love, text, and an iPhone.

Don’t you just love technology and super smart children?

Have you ever gotten (or sent) any embarrassing texts?

**this post courtesy of my iPhone photo gallery**

Texas Bluebonnets

On By AngeliaIn Angel Lia's Photography, Beautiful Life23 Comments

The third weekend in April is not just Palm Sunday, but the peak of the Texas Bluebonnets. A Texas staple in our land.

I think my mom’s words to me went something like….. Dig some of those up and bring them to me to plant. I love the bluebonnets………. And most people who have seen them feel the same way, but in Texas, I’m pretty sure that’s illegal (plus, she lives in Oklahoma, heh!).

I wouldn’t want to pick them anyway. With their sea of blue, they are just too pretty to touch.

Before my injury we took the girls to Cedar Hill State Park. They have a place called Penn Farm. It was a working farm until the 1980’s. It is now a place to explore and read about Texas farming and equipment. There are several barns, houses, a windmill, and yes, even a bluebonnet field. It’s a photographer’s dream place.


Don’t leave home without your Dad’s old iPhone. You might need it in the bluebonnet field. I don’t think she wanted to miss her iPod music. LOL!

A stunning place with beautiful subjects. If you live in Texas, I urge to get a look at these gorgeous fields. NOT THE ROADSIDE BLUEBONNETS, but the REAL fields of them. They can be found in most of the state parks. There is also a Bluebonnet Festival in Ennis this weekend. In addition, many flowers and activities are on display at Clark Gardens. It is a must-see for the Texas Bluebonnets and worth the drive from the metroplex.

Wherever you are, I hope the weather is nice and you can get out and enjoy it. I can’t believe this is our peak spring season in Texas. That means the brutal summer heat is pushing at our backs, ready to knock us down, and fry our grass blades to a crispy brown. I may have a sprained ankle, but I am armed with a walking boot and I know how to use it. I will hobble along to one of these gorgeous sites before the flowers of Texas fade for another year.


The State Flower of Texas – the bluebonnet.

Have a happy weekend!